Posts Tagged ‘post-pregnancy’


microwave dangerWe packed up the baby factory years ago.  My youngest is 9 years old going on 40.  I’m turning 40 next month.  Well… 30 with ten years experience.  Seeing babies and pregnant women often makes me want to have more of my own.  I miss the newborn and infant stages… all of the littleness stages.The practicality of it is obvious, I suppose, but the emotions of it aren’t gone so I need a new rundown of why it’s probably good that we’re done having babies.

  1. I’m not a spring chicken
  2. We can come and go from the house without having to pack up lots and lots of gear
  3. The children are mostly self-sufficient and independent
  4. I wouldn’t have to deal with morning sickness that lasts 24/7
  5. We don’t have to think up cutesy ways of telling people that “we” are pregnant
  6. We don’t have to decide if we want to wait or find out the sex of a baby and then answer endless questions about it
  7. I won’t have to hear old wives tales about how I’m carrying, eating, looking
  8. No more diaper changing or spit up unless I’m babysitting for someone else
  9. I won’t have to answer personal questions about pregnancy or jokes about how I got that way
  10. We don’t need to see people’s facial expressions when they hear name considerations that they dislike
  11. We don’t need to worry about agreeing on a name together for a brand new human
  12. We won’t have to rearrange bedrooms for a crib
  13. We won’t have to tip-toe around nap times or worry about getting a baby used to a noisy house
  14. We won’t have to answer questions on what style of parenting we’re going to use
  15. I won’t have to take 6 weeks maternity leave from work and then get so emotional that I have to quit my job to stay home because I just can’t leave my baby
  16. I can look at other pregnant women and feel a little jealous or envious, but the feeling passes
  17. I don’t have to argue for or against natural birth or epidurals or c-sections or hospital birth or home birth or magic wands
  18. I don’t have to share my opinion on “push presents”
  19. I can hold other babies and spend time with toddlers, but I get to go home with my own daughters
  20. I get to keep being the cool auntie to new babies
  21. I don’t have to worry about SIDS unless a newborn is sleeping over my house
  22. I baby-talk at the cats
  23. Toilet training is over
  24. We no longer watch Blue’s Clues and Dora the Explorer on endless loops
  25. I can no longer remember all of the names of each Wiggle
  26. I don’t have to worry about whether I have to defend breastfeeding or bottle feeding
  27. I don’t have to worry about whether I have to defend cloth diapering or disposable diapering
  28. Regarding 17, 18, 26 and 27… I don’t mind my brain to mouth filter quite as much as I used to in my old-ish age
  29. I really need the coffee and pregnancy would hinder that, and more children would increase my need for it
  30. I have a chronic pain disorder and let’s face it, pregnancy would exacerbate my Fibromyalgia
  31. Babies are expensive
  32. We would need all new baby gear and clothes
  33. We really need a new dishwasher
  34. And a new heater
  35. And a new hot water boiler
  36. We could also use some new windows
  37. Maybe some curtains too
  38. I’d also love a new living room set
  39. We also need to get the girls some new bedroom furniture
  40. And I really enjoy being able to get my hair done every few months
  41. We also enjoy buying groceries
  42. And affording coffee
  43. My memory is not what it used to be, and a new baby could end up on the middle school bus while my middle schooler is happily sleeping in a crib
  44. I need far more sleep than a newborn would give me
  45. Or a toddler for that matter
  46. I recently had a dream that I was still in high school and left my baby in the gymnasium because the bell rang and it was lunch time but when I went back the baby was gone
  47. My daughters are perfectly happy with our family dynamic
  48. My husband is perfectly happy with our family dynamic
  49. I’m pretty sure the cats are somewhat, sort of, maybe happy with our family dynamic
  50. My daughters are old enough to do chores and a new baby isn’t
  51. I threw away all of my old maternity clothes
  52. It would be really difficult pushing a stroller and using my cane at the same time
  53. Kitty litter is bad for pregnant women and babies
  54. The microwave oven at my work place… just saying
  55. I have already achieved perfection in the three daughters that I have
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