Yesterday, ASAN’s Ari Ne’eman announced he was stepping down at the end of the year. That was important. Here’s the announcement.

Organizations go through many stages. One of the most challenging and important are transitions in leadership, particularly when they involve founding members. Over the last ten years, I have had the honor and privilege of building and directing the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. That experience has been one of the single most important and impactful …

Source: A Message from ASAN President Ari Ne’eman | Autistic Self Advocacy Network

Then, prompted by the announcement, an entry was posted on ASParenting Blog by Melody. I credit and thank my friend Nora for making me and others aware of this disappointing report. Nora writes the blog A Heart Made Fullmetal.

I’m sharing Melody’s post about ASAN because as a mother blessed with an autistic daughter, I’ve looked to ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network) as a guiding hand. I’ve shared them as a valuable resource to other parents and to autistic individuals that come into my workplace.

While I realize that the majority of experiences of employees are likely possibly maybe positive, if any of what is reported in this blog is true and a pattern, and indeed is policy then I don’t believe I could support that sort of agency.

In fact, I know I can’t. I wouldn’t encourage my daughter or friends or consumers in my agency to take advantage of them with what I now know, and therefore I wouldn’t encourage you. You are just as important as someone face to face with me when it comes to accurate, compassionate, gentle representation by people who are being treated well in their employment.

If it were ever guaranteed and proven that changes were made, that Autistic people were being treated with dignity and respect, being paid fair and competitive wages, being give reasonable accommodations, I might change my assessment. Trust is cornerstone. I know that. Accountability is, as well, and so far, ASAN has not taken accountability or responsibility.

I should warn you that there could be triggers in this blog article below as it mentions abuse tactics towards Autistic people, but it’s important to read. It’s a tough read.

With Ari Ne’eman’s announcement that he will be stepping down at the end of the year today, I knew I was out of time to find a large source to post what you are about to read. Please sh…

Source: ASANs Past Abuse and Moving Forward – ASParenting


And then there were those times in a year’s span that a U.S. Senator was pulled over on account of not being able to change out of his offensive, scary black skin and into his more Senatorially appropriate white skin.

GOOD BLACK NEWS

Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) shakes hands with Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) at a news conference on criminal justice reform, Oct. 1, 2015. (GARY CAMERON / REUTERS)

article by Laura-Barron Lopez via huffingtonpost.com

WASHINGTON ― In the course of one year as an elected official, Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) was pulled over seven times by law enforcement. Another time, a Capitol Police officer demanded that Scott show him his ID because the special pin on Scott’s suit jacket ― a pin assigned to United States senators ― evidently wasn’t enough.

Scott shared these stories and more Wednesday evening during a roughly 18-minute speech on the Senate floor. He is the only black senator in the Republican conference, and one of just two in the upper chamber.

His speech on Wednesday was the second in a series of three in response to a lone gunman killing five police officers in Dallas last…

View original post 472 more words


I could say  more regarding this article, but I won’t. Other than please read it because it makes SENSE.

 

Hillary Clinton is a candidate you may or may not like; Donald Trump is a danger to the country.

Source: Both are unpopular. Only one is a threat. – The Washington Post

 

 


So the Dear Girl went into the kitchen. I heard her rummaging briefly and then there was the clattering of objects to the floor. There wasn’t any screaming so I called out:

Are you okay in there? 

Yes, I’m fine!

Are you sure? No falling knives to stab yourself in the foot or anything?

Nope it’s all good! No knife stabbing my foot! 

Well, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities in this house. Not even for the 15 year old.

Then the Darling Girl pipes in with her stuffy nose:

Hey Mob! Remebber wed I stadd myself wid a fork an-duh you hadduh codduh me?

What?

Yeah. ::blows nose:: I stab-dud myself with a fork in-d my shoulder an-duh you coddled me for an hour? You made me mac-nnnn-duh-cheese.

I remember most injuries but that one, not in my immediate recall abilities. But Dear Girl backs it up.

Then they got to reminiscing about ER trips due to cutting fruit. 

Ah, I love it when the girls bond. 💜🤕


Reportedly, he wants a dog. A guard dog. A dog that’ll rip someone’s balls off. Because, you know, three daughters.

My husband, The Mister, is a father. He’s the awesome, and protective, dad to Dear Girl, Sweet Girl, and Darling Girl. When I say protective, I mean to say that he’s A Very Incredibly Protective Father.

That’s why, when Dear Girl took a walk last week and he freaked a bit, he informed me that his Father’s Day gift would be a dog.I know he’s serious about getting a dog. I don’t know how serious. I don’t know if there are additional reasons besides ball ripping, such as:

  1. Missing having a dog, since most of his life he had one around
  2. He’d like a companion besides cats that he can play with outside
  3. He’d like to take walks with a dog, and know if our daughters walk with one he’d feel safer
  4. He’s a dog person
  5. He feels like he needs a dog to be part of the family, just like I felt like we needed to include cats except I’ll be honest… I wanted cats for therapeutic reasons for Grace AND they quelled the whole, “I want a baby” thing

If this really is just about ball ripping, then I have no desire to go out and get a guard dog. If we got a dog, it would have to be a family dog. It shouldn’t be a danger to people. If a dog is a danger to people outside of our home, it will be a danger to the family. It’ll take research and making sure there’s a connection with the animal, including getting along with the cats. He’s letting the girls research. I’ve been trying to guide the girls in their research, and doing my own. I’ve been giving practical input and showing different available breeds and specific dogs locally. I’ve been making sure to let him know about adoption costs, monthly costs, annual cost the first year, annual costs after that, etc. I don’t know if he’s paying attention to any of it.

Am I being unreasonable?

Of course it could be a moot point if he just comes home over the weekend with one of the sweet muts I showed him from the rescues. I’m afraid that could happen too, since he thinks that’s what I did with Daisy. Revisionist history, right there, but I guess it’s a waiting game now.

Tune in later! Because it could be a moot point if he decides it’s too expensive!😉


I forget where I got it, other than Google

Candlelight Vigil

In the aftermath of the Orlando massacre, a three hour nightmare, I’ve realized that the moment it occurred and was made public was a moment that changed America forever.

I hope that none of us loses sight of what’s really important in this tragedy. These people matter. The 49 who were massacred. They’re important.

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 | Stanley Almodovar III, 23 | Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 | Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 | Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 | Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 | Luis S. Vielma, 22 |Kimberly Morris, 37 |Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 | Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 | Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 |Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 | Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 | Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 | Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 | Martin Benitez Torres, 33 | Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 | Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 | Amanda Alvear, 25 | Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 | Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 | Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 | Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 | Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 | Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 | Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 | Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 | Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 | Cory James Connell, 21 | Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 | Luis Daniel Conde, 39 | Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 | Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 | Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 | Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 |Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 | Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 | Jean Carlos Nieves Rodriguez, 27 | Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 | Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 | Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 | Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 | Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 | Frank Hernandez Escalante, 27 | Paul Terrell Henry, 41 |Antonio Davon Brown, 29 | Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 | Akyra Monet Murray, 18 | Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

The 53+ people who were injured, maimed, and hurt matter and are important. Their families and friends are important. The first responders, the police, and the nurses and doctors at the hospital who interacted with them, tried to save them, watched them die, are important. The people outside the club who watched it happen are important. The 9-1-1 operators who answered those calls are important. The off duty officer who was outside and realized something was happening and was the first to engage is important.

As a Christian, as a Catholic, I believe that above all else, we need to remind each other to make it a priority to choose love, compassion, empathy, generosity, loyalty, humanity, kindness, open mindedness, duty to our family and communities. This is my call to Faith. This is my call to Action. The only way we can make sense of things: remembering those who have died. Praying. Giving blood. Giving hugs. Communicating with Equality Florida (click here). Letting our LGBTQI+ family and friends and coworkers know that we support them, love them, need them… ESPECIALLY when we’re Christian… ESPECIALLY when we’re Catholic.

We all have such a capacity for love that most of us are still learning to tap into the potential of it. Well, it’s time to put down the chisel and grab the wrecking ball. We need to break open the dam and forget about the flood gates; we need to forget about holding it all in.

We’re a nation that is filled with diversity, and therefore intersectionality. We all experience the same emotions and have the same needs.

Everyone has an opinion, and they’re clamoring for their voices to be heard about what they believe is the most important thing. I have some opinions. I’m not so sure they’re lining up with what other people are talking about. I don’t really care. It’s my blog. I can talk about what I believe is important, especially based on what I’m experiencing in my home with my children.

I’m trying to imagine how hard it must be for the people who were actually involved. But I imagine the people I love who are in the LGBTQI+ community. I imagine my daughter’s friends that in that community, and how she feels when they tell her about their fears and grief. I imagine them going on vacation to Orlando, and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I imagine it happening here, in a place that’s supposed to be a safe zone for them when “out there, somewhere outside” isn’t so safe. Fear and grief clutch at my heart, and again, I try to imagine that feeling in someone with more ties to the community.  Those are the people who deserve the empathy and connection and consideration. Those are the people who need protection, love, generosity, caring, and a sense of safety equal to that of what anyone else feels.

I have a difficult time with the people who choose to identify with the murderers, to the point that they become apologists and empathize with them. In this instance, there are vile people out there cheering him on believing he should have been hailed as a hero.

I don’t want to empathize with the shooters or those assholes who do.

Most people in the world agree to live by the codes, laws, mores, and social systems established in the societies they live in. Most people who don’t enjoy the society and have the will to change it go about changing the system legally and without violence. Most people live in a world where they care about their community as well as their core family.

We need to accept that we belong to more than our simple family units; we belong to our towns and cities, our states, our nation and yes, we belong to the Global Community. We all need each other. We have more similarities than we do differences. No single one of us deserves more than another, or is worth more than another. We form closer bonds with our parents, spouses, children, siblings, and friends, and that makes them important… but our value as human beings is all the same. Our needs are all the same. We’re all equal in God’s eyes, and so we should all be equal in each other’s eyes. We must be. God loves us all. Maybe he loves all of us enough for himself, but I believe that we were all put here to love and be loved. To respect and be respected. To learn. To build relationships. To see God in each other. To see ourselves reflected in others. To appreciate where we are, and the wonders of the Earth and the Universe and each other. To learn as much as we can before we look forward to the big pearly gates. Doing all of this while still honoring a relationship with Jesus, with God, while accepting everyone BECAUSE OF their differences can only fill our lives with more love.

I’m certainly not perfect. I have a hard time with this. I try my best to at least “not hate.” I may not love murderers or Donald Trump but as my daughters point out, “It’s not Christian to hate them. Jesus would say don’t hate anyone.”

So trust me, it’ll be hard for me to follow certain aspects of my own Call to Faith and Call to Action, but I beg you to try with me. Please. Let’s pay it forward with a kind act each day. It shouldn’t be a token act, but it doesn’t have to be a grande gesture all the time either. It SHOULD come from the heart and be genuine.

I’ve written far more than I intended to write. I had hoped to be much more succinct. My brain is just so full up. So sad. I don’t know what to do with it all.


It’s too much, lately. Too complicated. There are too many terrible, vile things happening in the world to people by people. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I have so many thoughts and feelings about everything that’s going on that I’m having trouble sorting them out. Some of them are tied together, but are also separate issues and so I need to figure out how to simplify the way I need to write about the topics.

In the meantime, if there’s any topic that YOU would like me to discuss please let me know. I’d be happy to give it a shot. It would be something new for me. Otherwise my next post will most likely be something akin to generic store brand microwave pizza that tastes like cardboard.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 838 other followers

%d bloggers like this: