So I got up yesterday morning to ready myself for work, as one does. I do it prior to coffee. I do it prior to the daughters getting ready. I turn on the TV to listen to local news for the weather and headlines.

There was about what you would expect at 5:dark o’kiss my ass it’s too early for anything. Watching/listening with my bedroom TV that I can’t rewind, so really, at first I didn’t really believe what I was hearing. Later I went downstairs where, when I hear what seems like ridiculous news, is often confirmed downstairs because that’s the TV that tells me the truth.

Yes. The Today Show confirmed what seemed like the imminent dramedy of:

The Most Ridiculous News Story Diverting Attention From Important Headlines Today

Loves, I regret to inform you that Sarah Palin is whoring herself out yet again in a phenomenally new and unexpected way. She has plans in the works to  have a television show just like Judge Judy Sheinlin of Judge Judy fame where she, Sarah Whackadoodle Palin, is the judge. Or judge-like person. Judging people in court.

What are her qualifications, you ask? Well, I thought maybe she’d whip out a secret law degree or some such thing but, well, Sarah Whackadoodle Dee Dee Palin being who she is believes that she’s qualified enough to be a judge in a court having, you know, chosen plenty of judges during her tenure as a governor of Alaska.

That’s not all, folks!

She also has all of that experience IN TELEVISION THESE PAST EIGHT YEARS since the 2008 Presidential Elections, y’all!

If you don’t believe me, you have Google Fingers.

Now, here’s a warning. If you’re a Sarah Palin supporter and you think she’s a really classy lady, and you feel like telling me how women ought to be supporting women rather than tearing each other down, I’ll disagree with you on point A and agree with you on point B. My explanation on point B is because I disagree on point A. I’ve blogged in the distant past as to why. I won’t go into that now because I’ll use up all of the words I didn’t use yesterday when I blogged about Trump Fatigue.


Fair warning, it’s probably going to be a long entry. There are words everywhere. This has been building up in my effort to refrain from posting (much) about the vileness that is Donald Trump and his slimy nightmare run for the Republican ticket to the Presidency. As a former Republican, I still feel embarrassment over the fact that any of this has been allowed to happen, and I’m bursting at the seams in my efforts to refrain from cussing nonstop.

Second warning, also fair: This is my blog, which means that since I’m vehemently anti-Trump to the point of needing to vomit him out of my brain, this post is me purging. I’m purging it all. It’s my opinion only, when I’m stating opinions, except when I share facts. I realize that opinions aren’t facts but when something is a fact, you can actually fact check it and find out that it’s, you know, a fact and that it’s something I’ve based my informed opinion on. When I state something as fact, they’re easily researchable and provable. I’ll try to add a link or two when I remember but this entry is really intended to be a huge purge of my thoughts and emotions.

However, please know that this post is not directed towards you specifically, Loves. I apologize in advance if you’re a Trump supporter and find any of this offensive when I refer to “Trump supporters.” I don’t mean to offend you.

I do mean to “offend” Trump. You are not Trump. I do assume (presume?) that if you’re reading my blog at all, you’re educated beyond fifth grade and likely to be at least a high school or college graduate with some lovely reasoning skills. I assume that you’re open minded, especially if as a Trump supporter, you’ve read this far and haven’t closed my tab. If you’re a good person and you support Trump, I can only hope it’s because you don’t know about the vile, disgusting things he’s done and said in public that can be proven. I assume that maybe you care enough to find out.

First and foremost, as this came out yesterday morning because fuck it, y’all, every day is just getting worse than the day before and at this rate I’m going to need to start a new post:


Donald Trump’s political rise has inspired comparisons to the turbulent summer of 1964, when Barry Goldwater became the original angry outsider, accused of riding fear and racial resentment to the Republican nomination.

But Goldwater’s widow and eldest son are as appalled by Trump as the establishment was appalled by Goldwater in 1964. Maybe more so. They see Trump as a “cowboy” and an “authoritarian” — not to mention irrational, unprincipled and a symptom of a lost party.

They won’t vote for any of the remaining Republican presidential candidates in 2016. And they don’t believe Goldwater would either.

“Barry would just go absolutely go crazy if he were watching this today,” Susan Goldwater (now Levine) told MSNBC by phone. “He would be yelling at the television. He would think it’s embarrassing this situation we have with Donald Trump. It’s not the Republican Party or the country that we knew 25 or 30 years ago.”

She [Barry’s widow] plans to vote for Hillary Clinton and, she continued, a lot of her friends from the Goldwater era are too. They think the Republican field has come unhinged and drifted hard-right, and, yes, she knows that’s what they used to say about her late husband, the so-called father of modern conservatism.

“Barry was a quite moderate and rational man despite opinions to the contrary. And 25 years ago, he was appalled by the rise of the extreme Christian right,” she explained. “The bigotry and the religious extremism is just wrong, wrong, wrong.”

She doesn’t support Trump’s anti-immigration policies, or those of his controversial local surrogates, including Sheriff Joe Arpaio and former Gov. Jan Brewer. “Our legislature is Neanderthal,” she said, dismissing much of the state. “It just is.”

Barry Goldwater Jr., a former Republican congressman from California, was less talkative but equally troubled by Trump’s supposed similarities to his father.

“I don’t think there’s any comparison at all with Barry Goldwater,” he said. “Donald Trump is an authoritarian. Barry Goldwater had principles and he was a gentleman. Donald Trump is a cowboy.”

To be sure, the Trump and Goldwater comparison is rooted in surface similarities.

Both candidates garnered support from white supremacists, including members of the Ku Klux Klan. Both held events where black attendees faced verbal and physical assaults. And both were opposed by powerful elements within their own parties.

More specifically, Trump’s closed-border approach to immigration and Muslim-Americans reminds some of Goldwater’s opposition to the Civil Rights Act and Brown v. Board of Education.

Those positions damaged the GOP’s relationship with generations of minority voters, especially black voters. Many Republicans fear Trump could similarly damage the party’s relationship with Latino voters.

But Goldwater died a veritable progressive by the standards of today’s Republican Party. He became a prominent gay rights activist, persistent critic of the religious right, and semi-regular backer of Democratic candidates for office.

What mattered to him were ideas and ideology, his son argues, and that makes him deeply different from Donald J. Trump.

“When you voted for Barry Goldwater, you knew exactly what you were going to get,” his son said. “When you vote for Donald Trump, you don’t know what you’re going to get.”


This is more important, as it’s an article written explaining a report made by a research team called the Economist Intelligence Unit, considered to be a reliable source in the information it considers and reports. When I initially inserted it into the post it was only a couple of hours old:

“A Donald Trump presidency would be as big a global risk as the rising threat of jihadi terrorism, according to the Economist Intelligence Unit.

In a list released Thursday, the research team also suggested “Trump’s rhetoric toward the Middle East will in itself raise the jihadi menace.”

“His militaristic tendencies towards the Middle East and ban on all Muslim travel to the US would be a potent recruitment tool for jihadi groups,” the EIU said in its global risk assessment.

The research firm says “Trump’s hostile attitude toward free trade could also prove a worldwide issue.”

“In the event of a Trump victory, his hostile attitude to free trade, and alienation of Mexico and China in particular, could escalate rapidly into a trade war,” the report said.

The EIU ranking combines impact and probability on a scale rating of 1 to 25, with a Trump presidency scoring a rating of 12.


The research paper concludes that it doesn’t expect Trump to defeat Hillary Clinton in the race to become the next president.

But it suggests a turn of events that could put Trump in the White House.

“There are risks to this forecast, especially in the event of a terrorist attack on US soil or a sudden economic downturn,” the report reads.

Kremlin on Trump

Meanwhile the Kremlin hit out Thursday at a campaign video promoting Trump, suggesting the video demonized Russia’s image.

The clip in question shows Clinton barking like a dog while Putin throws an opponent in a judo bout.

“I saw this clip. I do not know for sure if Vladimir Putin saw it. But our attitude is negative,” Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told a teleconference, according to Reuters.

Peskov said negative comments from U.S. politicians were nothing new.

“It’s an open secret for us that demonizing Russia and whatever is linked to Russia is unfortunately a mandatory hallmark of America’s election campaign,” he said



Next, Paul Ryan psycho conservative scary ass misogynist whackadoodle Speaker of the House but thank-god-he’s-not-President-instead-of-Obama-and-swears-he-won’t-run-this-time even spoke against Trump’s latest folly of words. House Speaker. Paul Ryan. Firmly inserted Teaparty screw-up thinks Trump has gone too far. Although Teaparty trickster that he is, refused to go so far as to say that he wouldn’t support Trump if Trump does end up as the “Republican” candidate. But come on, fuck all, people, Paul fucking Ryan denounced Donald Trump.


House Speaker Paul Ryan on Thursday said that it was “unacceptable” for Donald Trump to suggest there would be rioting if he is not chosen as the Republican nominee.

“Nobody should say such things in my opinion because to even address or hint to violence is unacceptable,” he told reporters on Capitol Hill.

On Wednesday, Trump said on CNN that if he does not win the GOP nomination at the convention in July: “I think you’d have riots. I’m representing a tremendous many, many millions of people.”


The Republican party has been corrupted by the Tea Party. In the Republican party’s need to “beat” Democrat candidates and refusal to work across the aisle, rather than choosing the best candidates for the job and working as a team with the Democrats who are also chosen, they’ve let the rabid wolves in. That didn’t used to happen. Greed and money let it happen. It was most obvious when Senator McCain didn’t vet Sarah Palin. There should have been an internal, introspective look into the direction the party needs to go and how to do it. Instead, they’ve chosen people who insist that discrimination should be law, religion should be law… Christianity should be law, and not just Christianity but the evangelistic literalistic and extremist sect calling themselves a grassroots political party, the Tea Party.

That opened the door for dangerous individuals like Donald Trump to step in and pretend he had anyone else’s interests but his own. Make no mistake: Trump is not Republican. He’s not Democrat. He’s not even Green Party or Tea Party or Independent Party.

He’s an entirely brand new creation. There’s nothing political to call what he’s doing. Scary Ass Fucker works for me, but it’s not very politically correct.

Sorry, I sort of lost the thread there.

I am many things, but my mother didn’t raise a foolish child. Unfortunately, as of this moment, I think many people like my mom supports Trump. Recently she said she’d vote for him in a heartbeat with the common line that, “He’s better than Hillary!” Um, sure. Because of the Republican lie machine of the past 25 years, which I think is now regretting what they’ve done as they collapse and watch the monster they’ve created take over and kill their party.

Truth matters. The truth that the rest of the world considers important matters, even when American news is ignoring it.

Being informed matters.

Being educated matters.

This involves performing our own research, and seeking out independent news sources. It means seeking out news sources that report only the facts and if any opinion is inserted, it’s really something that can’t be disputed without some serious cognitive dissonance.

This is not something that it appears a great majority of Trump supporters believe in. Instead, they’re fueled by anger, hate, fear, and rage and very likely a healthy dose of disappointment and frustration in our government. We should all have disappointment and frustration in our government. We should all have disappointment in our chosen legislators including the ones we gave our votes to in previous elections.

The problem isn’t only that Trump incites the anger, hate, rage, and fear into a frenzy of righteous self-justification, self-entitlement, and encourages the worst in us. Not even the rebellious, revolutionary part of us, but the hateful, bigoted, racist, ableist part of us. There’s no desire to change, only to cause damage.

The problem is that those of us who oppose Trump are also incited by the anger, hate, rage and fear and get caught up in a self-righteous self-justification that encourages the worst in us. It’s not a good feeling… except we also have hope in there. We can tone it down because we know that there ARE other choices other than him. There are reasonable choices even if they’re not the best. We figure out that we don’t have to be “right” we just have to use our intelligence to be vigilant and educated and share what we know to be true, to remain trustworthy, and to use our votes in a way that’s moral and just.

Sorry, lost the thread for a moment.

Trump’s supporters see him as trustworthy and educated, not caring about his lies. He’s living the American Dream and I think that they hope with him being President, he’s going to help create their American Dream too. They don’t see his lies as damaging or consequential as compared to what they perceive as the lack of trustworthiness of the Democrat opponents. There’s a tendency to take his words at face value because if he’s in the position he’s in, he must be educated. Except he’s not.

Because Democrats are, obviously, adversaries that must be hated to the core for not being Republican. Lies created from Republican propaganda machines aren’t fact checked and are instead taken as gospel. This is what’s occurred with HRC over the last 20-25 years.

The instant the Clintons came on the scene publicly, the Republicans started to make certain that lies and gossip were spread about her in news media and gossip rags. Somehow, created controversies against her and her husband were and are made out to be her fault. Even when her husband cheated, it was her fault. Even her personality isn’t portrayed accurately by the Republican propaganda machine.

Initial proof of Trump’s lies and deceit is dismissed because it’s “slanted” or “from an unreliable source” but  even when faced with incontrovertible proof of his lies with actual videos showing that yes, he really did say that he would date his own daughter and yes, he really calls women vicious names. He thinks women are disgusting. He made fun of HRClinton for needing to use the ladies room during a debate he wasn’t even in, and has called women who menstruate “disgusting.” He even makes rude, childish facial expressions to match. He continuously and on a daily basis makes fun of and says ridiculous things about women he dislikes, denigrating them for biological differences, appearance, and yes… demeanor.

It’s only over this weekend that he has outright declared a boycott of Megyn Kelly’s TV program on Fox News. This is just one female news anchor that Trump has chosen to combat over the past several months. He’s not been eloquent in any sort of reasoned argument. He’s hateful and vicious to anyone who asks him legitimate and difficult questions, including uncomfortable ones rather than replying with grace and dignity.

“Everybody should boycott the @megynkelly show. Never worth watching. Always a hit on Trump! She is sick, & the most overrated person on tv,” the Republican front-runnertweeted late Friday afternoon. His missive was retweeted over 6,000 times, and “liked” by 19,000 readers within hours. Mr. Trump expressed a similar sentiment earlier in the week, referring to the prime-time broadcaster as “crazy” and “unwatchable.”


Nearly immediately, Fox News responded in support of Megyn Kelly as they should.  Now, you all know I’m no fan of Fox News. I do think that occasionally, they get some things right, and their response to the way Trump has spoken about Ms. Kelly over the weekend and called for a boycott of her show was appropriate. See more from the article:

Donald Trump’s vitriolic attacks against Megyn Kelly and his extreme, sick obsession with her is beneath the dignity of a presidential candidate who wants to occupy the highest office in the land. Megyn is an exemplary journalist and one of the leading anchors in America — we’re extremely proud of her phenomenal work and continue to fully support her throughout every day of Trump’s endless barrage of crude and sexist verbal assaults,” a Fox News spokesperson said in a statement on behalf of the network.

“As the mother of three young children, with a successful law career and the second highest rated show in cable news, it’s especially deplorable for her to be repeatedly abused just for doing her job.”

Their feud essentially began seven months ago during the first Republican presidential debate. As one of three moderators, Ms. Kellyasked Mr. Trump,

“You’ve called women you don’t like fat pigs, dogs, slobs and disgusting animals. Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president? And how will you answer the charge from Hillary Clinton, who is likely to be the Democratic nominee, that you are part of the war on women?”

Mr. Trump responded with choice comments about Ms. Kelly in the aftermath, telling CNN in an interview,

“She starts asking me all sorts of ridiculous questions. You can see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever, but she was, in my opinion, she was off base.”

Public reaction to all this has run the gamut from outrage to amusement. The press has offered intricate coverage. Revisit the moment in this video clip, found here


Did you know that he has raged against being asked, “the hard questions” under the claim that they shouldn’t be allowed to ask hard questions. Come on, man. If you can’t handle being asked tough questions during the primary and caucus campaigning, then you’re really in for it if you actually make the ticket.

Next order of business.

His disdain and downright hatred of people who are disabled. He finds disdain with every protected class. If you’re not a rich, white man in America, you’re only worthy of the disdain of a schoolyard bully.

The man (Trump) who says he has “given more to Americans with disabilities than anyone else” has faced a slew of lawsuits over ADA compliance. He publicly makes fun of people, Americans, with disabilities. He looks down upon them. He views Americans who are disabled as being “less than” and worthy of nothing more than caustic words, rude attempts at mimicking what he believes are sounds and gestures made by disabled individuals, and facial expressions you make when someone farts and walks away. If Trump is elected President, be prepared for decades worth of setbacks to the Disability Rights Movement, which is a Civil  Rights Movement. A Human Rights Movement.

Source: Donald Trump’s War on People With Disabilities – The Daily Beast

Yes, he really makes fun of disabled people publicly, at rallies, to their faces when they disagree with him or ask him tough questions.  You can find videos of it. His policies in his companies go directly against nearly every protected class under Federal anti-discrimination laws. I stopped watching The Apprentice when he was confronted on one of his policies going against Federal rights laws. His speeches insult, offend, and essentially dehumanize each of these protected classes:

  1. Race
  2. Color
  3. Religion
  4. National Origin
  5. Sex
  6. Pregnancy
  7. Citizenship
  8. Disability

There are lawsuits against him for each and every one of those protected classes just in his business ventures. Think about things he has said. Let’s not forget about what he thinks about veterans, and what they’ve done. Sure, they’re great except for when they’re captured POA’s or they become disabled in some way. I mean, hell, if you’re part of more than one protected class, you’re essentially screwed six ways to Sunday under a Trump dictatorship.

He’s in favor of also dehumanizing by using cruel and illegal forms of torture heavily insinuated in a recent rally he held. He claimed that he “heard Cuba wants Guantanomo back,” but he plans to keep it and reopen Guantanamo… and “put more in there.”  To cheers in his audience. He of course made discourteous comments about Cuba due to the fact that Castro didn’t greet President Obama as the plane landed for the visit the same way Castro has greeted the Pope and other dignitaries. He obviously meant that it was discourteous of Castro. The real reason was to get in a pot shot so he could apparently show how low America has sunk and how we need to make it great again with, “We are amateur hour.” Of course that meant he also had to take a pot shot at President Obama for, “not calling ahead” to make sure he would be greeted by Castro and upon finding out he wouldn’t be, he “should have turned the plane around.”

Now, let’s touch on the topic of the Constitution. The man really is woefully undereducated to begin with regarding what a President should know. He went to a military school as a teenager for behavior problems. He started at Fordham University, a Jesuit school studying economics, then transferred to the University of Pennsylvania in their Wharton School of Business and graduated with a bachelor’s degree. He was accepted into Wharton with “acceptable” grades and because his older brother was a previous student, and his father was wealthy. Not because of his own accomplishments or intellect.

It should be noted that in 1973 and 1973, articles were written in which it was falsely reported that he graduated at the top of his class from Wharton. He still encourages this false belief. He did indeed graduate in 1968.

But way back in 1984 (ha ha, I said way back as if it were such a very long time ago) William Geist reported that after investigating, he found that Trump was not only “not first” in his class, as what had become widely reported, but he didn’t even receive honors of any kind. Then again in 1988, New York magazine reported that the persistence of the belief that he graduated at the top of his class was a “myth.” Somehow, the myth continues. People believe that he’s smarter than a fifth grader.

I’m not discriminatory against people who don’t or can’t make honors. I’m not discriminatory against people who have trouble with school. I do, however, feel very discriminatory against people who try to further their entire careers based on lies about the foundations of their education and claiming far higher intelligence than they have based on that lie. How often has he said, “I’m so smart, I’m such a smart guy,” and meant it? He’s a braggart.

It’s a lie that has been debunked with simple research over and over again. Sure, okay, acceptable grades in economics for a guy who was going to take over his father’s fortune is fine and dandy, but then he took the company and its many facets and brands and he tanked it into bankruptcy. Four times. Seems he didn’t really learn much after all while at Wharton. Every single business endeavor he has attempted has failed, but if you ask him he’s been nothing but successful and he knows how to fix our economy.

He’ll bankrupt us as a nation within a year. All progress made over the past 8 years will be gone.


So let’s move on. I’m still on the Constitution here. He should have learned even some basics about the Constitution while in middle school and high school. My children all know the basics about the Constitution and I can safely say that they’re more educated and qualified to run than Trump.

  • He’s still on the offensive topic of “anchor babies.” He believes that it’s not in the Constitution that American born babies born to immigrants or illegal, undocumented immigrants are not Americans and should be deported. Which is interesting considering Trump is a second generation American.
  • He wants to shut down all Mosques and create a database of Muslims. Except he also wants to deport all Muslims, even American Muslims. Apparently they’re not American enough.  Yes, he is so racist and bigoted he would deport AMERICANS for their religion (Muslim, and he’d sent them to Islam because it’s, you know, obviously, a country), and he’s so fearful of women and children who are fearful of being murdered and bombed in their home country with nowhere to go that he’ll build a wall to keep them out.
  • He wants to build a wall at the Mexican border… and make the Mexican government and people pay for it.
  • He has praised the internment of Japanese Americans by FDR World War II. He wants to do the same under his regime
  • He praises Vladimir Putin as a strong leader whose people respect him.
  • He admires Benito Mussolini, and quotes him without apology
  • He said that being captured by the enemy doesn’t make you a war hero and he “likes soldiers that aren’t captured” when referring to Senator John McCain, but then denied saying it in spite of the fact that the entire speech was on video
  • His loosely defined plans are to work above and beyond Congress and the Constitution, with “people who know, I have people who know, I have people to find that out” that he thinks could wrangle their way legally around laws and the Constitution

So why do so many people think he’s so amazing and would be beneficial for the country? What qualifies him? What makes him the best man for the hardest job in the world?

I can’t help but think that it’s mostly because he’s validating racism, bigotry, homomisia, religious intolerance, xenophobia, hatred of anything different including political differences, or simple differences of opinion. He’s there claiming to love America yet hating fellow Americans and its Constitution under the guise of Making America Great Again.

His supporters believe his slogan… make America great again… by bullying and “being honest” and “telling it all like it is.” Except… Trump isn’t doing any of that. He has no plan, no platform except that slogan.

He’s the antithesis of what America stands for. He stands for the ugly, slimy, greedy, filthy parts of us. But he’s not America.

I can’t help but think that “Make America Great Again” is really just code for, “Getting a rich white man back into the White House and getting legislation and the Constitution back to the way it was in Colonial America when women and non-whites had no rights.” Except with a lot more violence and walls than traditional Republicans are used to endorsing.

We should be frightened by this, because this man wants to take rights away instead of giving them to us. And when we gladly give our rights away, we will have nothing. We’re already risking giving away too many of our rights.

Trump wants to take away more. Just take time to listen to him. He has no real platform, but he’ll tell you exactly who he is. He tells us daily.

It’s not just America that should be frightened to death of this man. The rest of the World is already scared, and they don’t understand why Trump supporters aren’t afraid of him, why they haven’t seen the light and turned tail to any other candidate. The rest of the World, and yes the rest of the country, can’t figure out why so many Trump supporters aren’t using logic and reason any longer, and why they aren’t waking up. Instead, there’s violence in these so-called rallies. Violence that Trump encourages from the podium. I’m shocked beyond words about that. This is what we’re looking at, how the country and world will be dealt with.

I’m going to start right out of the gate admitting that I realize there are probably hundreds of blogs addressing displeasure, calamities, and reasons for and against DST.

I’m not those blogs.:-)

I know it’s a struggle for households that don’t have children, and households that don’t have children or adults with any sort of disabilities or neuro-diversities.

We’re not those households.:-)

I could talk about the fact that during the week after Daylight Savings Time kicks back in and we’re forced to move our clocks ahead an hour on that predetermined agreed upon day, are the most car accidents and fatalities. People are late to work that entire week. It takes a week or two for most people to get their sleep cycles adjusted because it may seem like a simple one hour change, but we’re actually shifting our entire day to accommodate this change. We’re losing more than an hour of sleep.

I could do more than mention them and go into lots of detail, but I won’t. I’m too tired.

In a household where there’s someone with physical disabilities (me) and someone with neurological diversity (two teens) there’s far more involved. As small children and through elementary school we would try to prepare by adjusting bedtimes two weeks prior to DST. We’d try to adjust meals as well. Slowly, but surely we’d try to adjust the routine and schedule.

It didn’t matter. We end up dealing with a minimum of two weeks of tragic drama, and with Sweet Girl it’s gone as long as six weeks. With Dear Girl she usually adjusts within the two weeks, but it’s a tough two weeks. Youngest, Darling Girl goes with the punches.

This year, it’s only been five days in and I’m wrecked. My five hour work day should feel like it’s over earlier in the day, but it feels longer, and so I hit my wall earlier than usual. I’m up earlier than usual this week, that’s what my body is saying. I get home and if I don’t prepare supper early to heat up later, I know I won’t be able to from the pain or chronic fatigue. Already this week I’ve had days where I had to go straight upstairs to have a good lay-down.

Sweet Girl’s already-difficult time due to needing a break from school (our town skipped February vacation and they have to wait for April this year) has just been exacerbated. Mornings are already difficult, so ultra-creative motivations and soothings are in order. I just feel terrible because some days I have to simply get Completely Parental and use my I’m Serious Because I’m Your Mom Voice.😦  Prior to coffee sometimes. Sometimes I’m so tired and grumpy right along with her that I actually forget to make my coffee.

Dear Girl informed me on Monday or Tuesday that I need to get to The Guy Responsible For DST prior to having my early-morning coffee while still in my prior-to-early-morning-coffee-mood and Have A Talk with him. I wouldn’t be making any friends. But he WOULD stop fucking around with time changes.

As a parent, I don’t need to be right. I do need to be respected. I will not argue. No, I will not. I will not rise to the bait.

On a good day.


Trigger warning for autistic individuals re. ABA therapy mentioned, though not in detail.

I recently had a conversation with someone who has a disappointing view of disabilities in general, but especially of Autism Spectrum Disorders. I’ll cut to the chase on this one and talk about the part that bothered me most.

We were talking about IEP’s and special services. She was trying to advocate for ABA therapy for my daughter, and not the gentle kind that done properly by a properly trained and compassionate ABA Therapist. The kind that is traumatizing and is advised against by every autistic self-advocate I’ve ever heard from.

Her belief was that for any sort of therapies and services, the end goal was for the children to learn to pass as neurotypical aka non-autistic, through learning “appropriate behaviors” as deemed by parents and teachers and therapists. [If you’re not sure what this means, it’s kind of like people who are not white but are born with light enough skin and European features to “pass for white.” ] She believed that this was best because otherwise life would be too hard for the child and it would make finding a job far too hard, and in helping the child learn to pass as typical then it would help other people learn about her better.

I said, instead of throat punching them, that there was another explanation for IEP’s and special services. The point of services wasn’t to teach her to “pass” as non-autistic or how to be non-autistic; it’s not for the benefit of others that she receive services. Services include responsibilities of the parents to learn more about their child and how to communicate with them on their child’s level. The goals are to teach independent living skills and strategies for learning various subjects so that we can figure out how she learns best and communicates best, and to try to teach her ways of communicating outside of her comfort zone when she feels capable of it. Our goals are to help her with her challenges and encourage her in her talents. Our goals are never to teach her to be someone else because we love her as she is, and want her to “stay autistic.” She was suddenly at my side hugging my arm and saying, “Yes, mmm hmmm” and nodding her head.

I find myself having this conversation a lot lately.

There’s a meme going around with an ancient quote from a sixth century philosopher, Lao Tzu, so-called father of Taoism. It reads:

If you are depressed, you live in the past.
If you are anxious, you live in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

I know this is meant to soothe or be, you know, wise. I know that some therapists use a similar approach with their patients.

The more I see this float around Facebook and other social media… the more I see this in my support groups… especially the ones where so many of us have anxiety and depression in addition to our physical disabilities… the more this quote makes me realize how much it’s adding to the stigma and misinformation about Depression and Anxiety Disorders.

It insinuates heavily that we can choose our state of peacefulness, anxiety, or depression. Granted this quote is from the sixth century when they didn’t have the knowledge we have now about neurological differences and disorders like Major Depressive Disorders, Anxiety Disorders, Bipolar Disorders, Schizophrenia, Traumatic Brain Injuries, Intellectual Disabilities, Emotional Disorders, Mental Health Disorders, Behavioral Disorders, and more neurodiversity. Even if Depression and Anxiety aren’t the primary diagnoses, they can still be a secondary diagnosis and still be significant. There’s a biological basis for these concerns.

In other words, you’re born with it. You don’t choose it.

Depression has nothing to do with living in the past. Anxiety has little to do with living in the future. And let me tell you, living in the present is not usually a picnic but is in fact very often what causes anxiety and depression if we’re talking about situational depression and anxiety.

If we’re talking about situational depression and anxiety, talk therapy and using tools learned in therapy and coping mechanisms learned by experience in life can help ease the symptoms. Talking down, getting sunlight, exercise, proper diet, and all of those mood boosting things that we endorse (I do, really I endorse them because they’re helpful) are wonderful for situational depression.

If we’re talking about Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety, if we’re talking about other neurologically based depressive disorders and anxieties tied to them, there’s no control involved. There’s no talking it through. It’s not rational. Talk therapy may help, medical treatment may help more.

But it’s not a choice. And this meme… this meme of this quote is damaging to those of us who aren’t just going through Seasonal Affective Disorder or are sad because our boyfriend is cheating. We can’t just buck up and get over it because it’s not situational. It’s biological and we can’t turn it off. We have to let it cycle. A situation or mood may trigger it, but there’s usually a lead up with signs pointing to it. We can’t always see them or recognize them.

Please, if you see this meme with this quote, pretty lettering and all, don’t share it.

I’m having some Cognitive Dissonance. It’s making my head all ‘asplody.

Cognitive Dissonance:
the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.

Like many people, I sometimes have trouble reconciling how some people I know can say and do the things they do, and still be the people I’ve known and loved for so long. Others are, well, just as I expect them to be. It’s easy to figure out what to ignore and what to address. I can figure things out and ignore others because I’m a grown ass adult.

Then there are the people who are supposed to be helping me, like, well, doctors. People I pay to pay attention to me even if I’m trying to find myself or vent or get advice or just work out whether I need a mental health med tweak. Like my shrink. You’d think after 10 years she would know something about me by now. In our last appointment it was like she completely blindsided me on her opinion of me, or she grabbed the wrong file and was describing someone else. I actually called her out on it, but she shushed me. I’m a grown ass adult and she shushed me. I pay her, and she shushed me.

I was explaining some parent-teenager issues I was having, and advice on how to handle a situation. I needed some reassurance, but also some actual advice on what to do. Usually she gives an honest critique and a solution, and then tells me that I mainly have things under control and I’m a good parent and not to doubt myself so much. She’s even critiqued that I need to relax the discipline because I’m too strict, I hover too much, while still doing a good job teaching independence. Yeah, conflict? A little dissonance?


“You know, there is this pattern with you. All the time you do this. You’re so interested in being your child’s buddy and needing to be the therapist of all of them and you’re so lacking in discipline. You’re not strict at all. You need to learn to be more disciplinarian and stop being the friend.”

I told her:

“You’re kidding, right? You told me the opposite in the last several years of visits and if you talked to my kids right now they’d all tell you I’m very strict. They’ll all tell you I’m not the friend-mom, I’m the Mom-mom.”

“No, no, you’re wrong. I see it in the way you interact all the time. Whenever you bring them in, every time. You’ll see when you bring them in next time, I’ll show you.”

Except I haven’t brought my children with me for at least 6 years. We don’t do family appointments. We have no appointments planned for any.

I think it’s time for a referral to a new shrink. One who doesn’t mix up files and patients, one who pays attention. She used to be fantastic, I’m telling you, but over the past three years she’s become more scattered and said more and more ridiculously weird things. I can’t write them off any longer. I’ve stayed because I need her to help with prescriptions.


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