Archive for the ‘Three Daughters’ Category


Equality. When women and other protected classes fight for equal rights to be recognized legally and for discriminatory practices to be made illegal, we are not infringing on the rights of others.

We are not diminishing the value or equality of others.

We are maintaining that others hold no superiority over us.

We are asserting our rights to make choices for ourselves in all things, as intelligent, empowered, sentient, educated people.

We are advocating for those who may not have as big of a voice as we do, who may not have as much education, but still deserve all of the protections and rights as we do.

We may make mistakes along the way, as all movements do, but we have momentum and we have justice on our side.

I get to parent three incredible daughters. My daughters and I have conversations about important things. I teach them by example. My hope is to raise them into strong, caring, loving, and generous women with high self-esteem and a good education.

I want them to be confident in their talents. I want them to continue to be self-advocates and to advocate for others. I want them to continue to choose good, supportive, and positive people to help raise them up. I want them to continue to value their family and friends. I want them to know that they have choices, and they have these choices at any stage in their adult live; that it’s never too late to create a dream and work towards it. 

Being a feminist means recognizing that the world is open to us with unlimited choices, and moving forward to remove boundaries in society.

It’s a daily fight in legislature, a daily prayer, daily action, and daily modeling of behavior.

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Last week I had a neurology check up. I love this guy. He took it very seriously that I had a migraine that was on its ninth day, and showed no sign of alleviating. I’d been taking my daily med religiously; I’d been taking the Imitrex when it got out of control. I’d even been taking Advil on occasion in order to make it through work. I told him that I’d missed two days of work in spite of it all, and wasn’t sleeping even on the weekend.

He prescribed Prednisone, which he said would likely leave me feeling wired like after having way too much caffeine. He said not to take the Imitrex with it, because the efficacy of the Imitrex would be non-existent while on the steroid. I should feel better after the 2nd or 3rd day, taking 5 tablets the first 3 days in the morning; then 4 tabs; then 3; and so on.

I started the Prednisone on Wednesday of last week. I’m feeling “better” but the weather we’ve had hasn’t entirely helped. I’ve had restless sleep thanks to pain, which of course hasn’t helped. Over the weekend any rest I attempted was interrupted by the girls, the Mister, or Leo calling for his Mama. That dog likes to wake everyone up by 7:30 am. If I’m not downstairs by 8:30 am on a weekend he calls me specifically, with this whiny barking that gets urgent, so I end up having to go downstairs to let him hug me. Yup, he’s a hugger. I had to train him to be a polite gentleman dog and hug “properly” so that he wouldn’t knock me down. Goober.

I think that if I can get some long, uninterrupted sleep while on the Prednisone, it’ll work much better. The cats like to take care of me when I’m in bed, so they won’t be a problem. It’s the rest of the clan. 🙂

I went to work today, and I’ll be honest, I should have stayed in bed after the kids got on their rides to school. The Prednisone isn’t wiring me up, it’s making me sleepy. Neat trick.

What worries me at the moment is that if that damned Trumpcare bill passes? Migraines aren’t covered. I could be denied healthcare coverage simply for my migraines. Forget everything else I have to cope with. Migraines can keep me from any sort of healthcare insurance because the bill, if passed into legislation, will allow insurance companies to deny me coverage as a pre-existing condition. That means out of pocket if I see my neurology; if I have to go the emergency room for debilitating migraines that only the hospital can handle; for any of my migraine control medications. That’s thousands upon thousands of dollars a year. If they deem me suitable to cover at all, migraines alone could raise my premium thousands upon thousands of dollars a year.

Just the migraines.

I’m not talking about a little pain in the head. I’m not talking about a headache that some rest and avoiding sex for a night will take care of.

I’m talking about truly debilitating problems that are neurological in nature. Migraines are painful in the eyes, behind the eyes, in the top of the head, behind the head. They cause vision problems. There are sparkles, floaters, auras in front of the eyes. There’s tunnel vision. There’s blackout vision, where nothing is visible at all. There’s vertigo. There are auditory problems, sometimes a blocking of the ears and sometimes hypersensitivity. There can be auditory, visual, tactile, and olfactory hallucinations. Any combination of these symptoms can cause nausea, and vomiting. Fever can occur during migraines. Difficulty and slurring of speech can occur. Inability to walk and stand upright, or even to sit. Light sensitivity. Skin sensitivity.

There is a complete lack of function. It’s debilitating. Literally debilitating. The worst of a migraine is like having a seizure and stroke at the same time. It takes a lot out of you physically and emotionally. You want to scream, cry, beg, plead, but you can’t even think straight let alone speak. You’re forced to ride it out.

Luckily, most of the time mine have been under control by taking Topomax daily. I take the Imitrex for breakthrough migraines that need to be put under control when Advil doesn’t work. After a week, more than that, when that didn’t work, I finally needed to figure out what to do with my doctor. And if this doesn’t help, I don’t know what the next step is. But we’ll get there.

I’ll only get there if the current law, the AHCA, remains in place.

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When it comes to parenting, the books don’t always have the answers. Each book has a special parenting method, and if you just stick with that special method you’ll have amazing children. They’re grow up to be well behaved, respectful, intelligent, daily blessings of joy and love.

Those books are lies.

Most parents figure that out by the time their children are 1-to-2 years old. Sometimes it takes longer, but that’s likely due more to the temperament of the child and not the stellar parenting as followed from the advice in those books. They just might make it to 5 years old, but if that child really is just a totally chill little human being, it takes having a second child with a completely different temperament.

The books were worthless except as kindling until our third child. By then, I had realized that it’s not the book but the child, and every child has a different mother.

Every child has the mother they need because they’re all different people. The books should really only address the care, when it comes down to it. We need books that are honest and straightforward that will be Actually Helpful to new parents of babies, and stressed out parents of toddlers and teens.

Books parents need:

Mostly Judgement-Free Parenting Series

“How to Feed My Baby: Until he’s not hungry any more”

“How to Diaper My Baby: What’s best for your wallet, your tolerance for cutting coupons, your love of Pinterest, and ability to sew”

“The Best Ways to Get Baby to Nap: Learn baby’s sleep patterns, then work around it”

“How to Get Baby on My Schedule: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

“Toilet Training by One: Good luck with that one”

“How to Feed a Picky Eater: Give her what she likes”

“Discipline? Yes, always, your child is not your friend or best buddy”

“Discipline: You have more options than ‘spanking’ and here they are”

“Going Back to Work After Baby: Why not, after all Dad gets to and who’s to say that Dad shouldn’t be the stay at home parent anyway?”

“Staying Home/Going to Work After Baby: Budgeting, Care for Baby, Scheduling, Family Time, Let’s Work it Out!”

“How to Prepare for Going to the Hospital for Baby: includes a tear out sheet of “List of People to KEEP OUT OF L & D and Maternity” to give to hospital staff so that you won’t have to be the bad guy to family that you don’t want there!”

“Reasonable Expectations of Success and Mistakes: your child isn’t an extension of you”

“When Friends, Family, and Strangers Offer ‘Well Meaning’ Parenting Advice: Smile and Nod, and other non-violent methods”

“OMG My Teenagers Are Trying to Make Me Go Gray Overnight! and other things parents of three teens have been heard saying”

“Organic and Homemade! the story of the crunchy mom, whose baby ate only organic until he tasted his first Twinkie and realized there was an entire aisle of the supermarket his mom had been hiding from him, and other stories of perfect parenting gone awry”

“How Not to Say the Wrong Thing to My Teens and Make Them Cry, the story of the mom with three daughters, so really you have to know that there probably won’t be a happy ending to this story”

 

 

Yup… I’d have bought those.

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Up front, I’m Catholic. This entry is about education and freedom of religion.

Darth Pence wants to do to “reform” our public schools. I bow to the fact that some changes ought to be made, the main one being to pay teachers what they’re worth and put more funding into education so that we don’t continue to have a nation that doesn’t value intellectualism or education. That’s not at all what Darth Pence plans to do in his reform of public schools.

Darth Pence wants to unschool our children and remove science classes. He wants to replace science with teachings from the Bible.

I kid you not.

Biggest headline: Darth Pence, with the help of Trump’s cabinet pick Betsy DeVos, plan to evict the Big Bang and Evolutionary Theories from the public school curriculum and replace them with Biblical Creationism.

This is offensive regardless of your political affiliation or religious affiliation. It’s offensive no matter the end of the conservative or liberal end of the spectrum you fall. In spite of the smoke and mirrors, this has never, ever been Democrats versus Republicans, nor has it been Liberals versus Conservatives. The value of keeping Church and State separate is a value of all major parties that are seen as legitimate except for one.

It’s a Tea Party value, the Tea Party who are a bunch of jokers that know nothing about politics and are trying to destroy it from the inside out (admittedly, especially since. A bunch of evangelistic biblical literalists who are destroying the christian faith and the reputation of all Christians.

For a person of faith, like me, it’s about being balanced, faithful to God, being a better mother, wife, person, being truthful in how I live my life, respecting the world I live in, respecting the people I share the Earth with, being in awe of the Earth my God created, and loving this life. And in order to do that and to teach my family how to do that, I don’t need some judgmental, creepy, selfish, criminal, vile, wannabe, fake-ass President and his sidekick VP dismantling our schools, our special education programs, and our religion.

 

How I choose to indoctrinate my children is my choice, with my husband. Where it occurs is our choice. I want them indoctrinated in our family church that we carefully chose, and in our home. Indoctrination is to be fully controlled by us. The separation of Church and State is to be held as a sacred value.

If my children wish to pray before a test, or they wish to pray during their free time, they’re allowed due to the freedom of religion. The key is that they don’t try to convert anyone or “witness” at school (well, as Catholics we don’t do that as a rule); during free time at school they can discuss each others religions to get to know each other, and they can pray together if they want. That’s fantastic. But no class led prayer. No indoctrination.

If children … students … are to learn about religion and their creation stories in a public school there are Humanities courses or World Religions courses, Social Studies, and they teach “This is what this religion is about, what they do,” ie. the facts of various religions without commentary of the validity of any of them. If it’s indoctrination and proselytizing, then that belongs in private schools.

For those who are devoutly Roman Catholic, there’s some good news

Numerous sources confirm that Pope Francis has stated that he accepts the Theories of Evolution and the Big Bang (go to article below, and then click it).

And that is awesome. Essentially, Pope Francis recognizes that behind the Scientific Theories, there is God. Behind all of the science, there is God speaking to us and guiding us. It means he’s continued to move the Church back into the light, back towards God and away from the Dark Ages that Benedict was so determined to plunge us into. Pope Francis is a beacon of hope.

 

The theories of evolution and the Big Bang are real and God is not “a magician with a magic wand”, Pope Francis has declared. Speaking at the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, the Pope made comments which experts said put an end to the “pseudo theories” of creationism and intelligent design that some argue were encouraged by his predecessor, Benedict XVI.

Source: Pope Francis declares evolution and Big Bang theory are real and God is not ‘a magician with a magic wand’ | The Independent

 

 

Me again.

Science explains the “how.” Religion explains the “why.”

I’m sure some of you disagree with me. You might say,

“They’re ‘just’ theories. They can’t prove it. Science is its own religion, and you can’t trust it! You’re rejecting the BIBLE AND GOD! YOU’RE JUST A LIBTARD!”

When I’m feeling generous, I don’t assume that those people I hear that statement from are also rabid anti-vaxxers and give them the benefit of the doubt. 😉 I instead assume that they’re open to listening to reason. I don’t assume that they’re Sophophobic (have a fear of learning and being educated).

They’re actually not “just” theories. When someone dismisses a Theory out of hand, they’re forgetting middle school and high school science when they learned about the Scientific method and how to write a lab report. It was such a valuable experience learning those things, because it taught us how to approach the world. It was supposed to teach us how to be curious and question, how to touch things and be involved in the world. It taught us that we didn’t have to be scientists to value science.

Most people seem to think that a theory is vague and maybe possibly could be a fact if there were enough facts to support the idea… to support the opinion. They think that a hypothesis mean “to guess the result of an experiment.” I thought that maybe going back to basics would be a good idea for a minute or two.

A hypothesis isn’t an educated guess. It is a tentative explanation for an observation, phenomenon, or scientific problem that can be tested by further investigation. Once you do the experiment and find out if it supports the hypothesis, it becomes part of scientific theory.

http://www.sciencekidsathome.com/science_fair/what-is-a-hypothesis.html

A hypothesis doesn’t become a Theory, but can contribute.

Next we have Theories, with tested results that can be repeated and WILL BE repeated. A Theory is something that we know is true even if aspects of the Theory change due to obtaining new information, new interpretations, or a change in some information. A Theory can be voted on in the Scientific Community. A Theory IS NOT an opinion and takes precedence over opinions, as a Theory is in fact, factual.

A scientific theory is an explanation for why things work or how things happen. Scientists develop theories based on their observations of the world around them.Theories are based on ideas that can be tested. Theories are not speculative, or based on a guess.

kids.britannica.com/elementary/article-544886/scientific-theory?

 

Finally, we have the Scientific Law. A Scientific Law is so certain that it’s absolute and unchanging. You can’t vote on it, create a new interpretation of it, or change it in any way. It’s a description of observable phenomenon and doesn’t require explanation. It can be the basis of creating new Theories. Theories don’t become Laws, and neither do Hypotheses.

A scientific law is a statement based on repeated experimental observations that describes some aspects of the universe. A scientific law always applies under the same conditions, and implies that there is a causal relationship involving its elements.

 

If you’re Roman Catholic, and you trust in the plans of God and how he’s using Pope Francis, have hope. If you’re not Catholic, but Pope Francis is still a cool dude in your eyes, hopefully this gives you hope that Christians are not represented by those who claim christianity in the government. At least there’s something positive from 2016 moving into 2017.

The plans of Darth Pence for Education, and Trump’s cabinet pick for Education, Betsy DeVos, should upset you greatly no matter what. If you’re not upset, then you should at least be concerned or moved enough to want to write to your State Representatives, your Senator, your Governor. Be your own activist, be your childrens’ advocate. If you want the future of our country to be in the hands of godly, educated men and women then speak up. If you want your nation to be in the hands of educated men and women, speak up. We don’t have to just shut up and take it.

We don’t have to just accept it. We don’t have to just get over it. We need to do something, because he’s been following through with everything he said he would and he’s not even President yet. We’re not talking soundbytes. These are the “great things” and big changes he was talking about.

 

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Are you a Cat Person or a Dog Person?

I get all sorts of answers with this question offline, and usually stories to go with it. Hence the poll! I’d love to see your stories along with your answers.

There doesn’t seem to be a true middle ground anywhere for a lot of people. Most people care about their answers, and people who care about the answer are SO! EMPHATIC! AND! PASSIONATE! That’s great, I love passionate. I’m passionate about my animal companions. I love them, so I should be passionate about them and I like to see that same emotion in others.

My answer is complicated. I’ve had hamsters 🐹, and I like hamsters but they’re fragile. I’ve had fish 🐟🐠🐡, but fish don’t cuddle and I always end up killing them in spite of my best efforts.

I’ve always loved cats and took the plunge nine years ago. As a child, I was somewhat allergic but my dad was Seriously Allergic. No cats in the house. I still knew I needed cats in my life. I’m most emphatically a Cat Person. I’ve always taken pride in being a Cat Person. I’ll have cats for the rest of my life. I need them. 🐱

Now that our family has a dog, and I was a willing participant in adding Leo to the family, my answer to “are you a cat person or dog person” is more complicated. I thought that having a dog would teach me that;🐶

  1. I was also a Dog Person
  2. I’d learn some innate truths about dogs that would help ease my anxiety about Other People’s Dogs
  3.  I’d learn to love all dogs equally
  4. Training would get easier as time went by

So far, nope, nope, nope, and nope.

I’m not a Dog Person. I don’t love every dog. That’s what would make me a Dog Person. I haven’t learned any innate truth about dogs except that they can assholes just as much as any cat can, except it’s kind of funny when cats are assholes. I will always have anxiety about Other People’s Dogs. I love MY dog, and dogs that I’m relatively close to who are well behaved. 😉 Training is going well, but it’s often slow going and it’s not getting easier. I know he’s essentially a toddler verging on adolescent, and he’s teething, but holy HELL that boy ate the Bible this morning. And he did it because I didn’t give him the attention he wanted when he wanted it because I needed coffee that I never did get to make.

No, as a matter of fact, Leo has NOT learned the benefits of coffee ☕ yet. He knows it smells delicious and he always tries to steal it from me, but he doesn’t understand that my coffee saves his little life every morning. He’s willful with a huge personality and a ton of intelligence, but he hasn’t figured out the coffee thing. The cats figured that out right away, almost as quickly as my children did.

I’m a Cat Person who loves her own dog. There’s no doubt I love him. He’s silly, bright, energetic, happy, healthy, but he’s becoming a teenager at 12 1/2 weeks old.

Now, I enjoy silly puppy videos as much as the next person. I enjoy seeing friends and family share their photos and stories of their dogs. I enjoy learning about my dog’s breed, and a couple of other breeds I’m interested in. I’m developing an interest in learning about the history of dog ownership and training in America. But I’m not at a point yet where I can say that I’m a Dog Person.

My cats are definitely not Dog Cats, but they’re handling him a bit better now. It’s the barking that gets to them. They like to watch him and they’re learning everything they can about him. They’re just waiting for him to grow large enough so that he can’t fit through the dog gate that has a cat door in the bottom.

Here’s the maniac… errr… Leo.

Who did this moments earlier…

Which okay, fine, it’s NAS but still. It’s a Bible. 😋

 

 

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