Archive for the ‘silliness’ Category


No, I’m not going to write about that miserable son of a bitch, Lucifer (in the flesh 👹, whom God has apparently forsaken if anyone were to have listened to early campaign claims 😇) having dropped out of the campaign for the Presidential nomination.

I’m not going to write about how I’m wondering what his political wife is doing right this instant, since she had hoped to be President herself and then dropped out of the race, and then suddenly she had the chance to be VP and now suddenly that was snatched away too. But I’ll bet there are flaring nostrils and wild, staring eyes involved. Red rimmed and glowing.  👿😲😤😠👾

Nope, I’m not going to write about that at all.

I’m not going to write about the apoplectic conniptions in the GOP 🐮 that I’m sure are running like The Wave through a full crowd at Fenway Park during an awesome game in a winning season, due to the come-to-Jesus realization that Donald Trump “appears to be” the presumptive nominee.

I’m not even going to write about how telling that particular little phrase is. Presumptive nominee. It makes me half think that Mitt Romney is going to jump out behind a curtain and shout, “SURPRISE!” with spirit fingers waving gleefully as a weird, creepy reality show mid-season finale cliffhanger that announces he’s the Party Nominee for the general election, with Paul Ryan’s oily ooziness peeking out warily, like Voldemort before he had his full powers.🎪

By the way, I tried to do a Face Swap with Voldemort and Paul Ryan and I swear on a stack of Harry Potter books, THERE WAS NO CHANGE!!! Either that or it didn’t work but I don’t accept that. Someone else try it, ok?🎭

Left: Bearded Paul Ryan; Center FACES MERGED WITHOUT CHANGE!; Right: Lord of All Evil, He Who Shall Not Be Na…Screw it, it’s Voldemort

 

And, um, apparently that Kasich joker 🃏 “suspended” his campaign to be the Presidential nominee just a bit ago.  But I’m not going to write about that either.

I guess there’s nothing to write about right now. 📰📝Sure was a boring day in politics.  🙃

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So I got up yesterday morning to ready myself for work, as one does. I do it prior to coffee. I do it prior to the daughters getting ready. I turn on the TV to listen to local news for the weather and headlines.

There was about what you would expect at 5:dark o’kiss my ass it’s too early for anything. Watching/listening with my bedroom TV that I can’t rewind, so really, at first I didn’t really believe what I was hearing. Later I went downstairs where, when I hear what seems like ridiculous news, is often confirmed downstairs because that’s the TV that tells me the truth.

Yes. The Today Show confirmed what seemed like the imminent dramedy of:

The Most Ridiculous News Story Diverting Attention From Important Headlines Today

Loves, I regret to inform you that Sarah Palin is whoring herself out yet again in a phenomenally new and unexpected way. She has plans in the works to  have a television show just like Judge Judy Sheinlin of Judge Judy fame where she, Sarah Whackadoodle Palin, is the judge. Or judge-like person. Judging people in court.

What are her qualifications, you ask? Well, I thought maybe she’d whip out a secret law degree or some such thing but, well, Sarah Whackadoodle Dee Dee Palin being who she is believes that she’s qualified enough to be a judge in a court having, you know, chosen plenty of judges during her tenure as a governor of Alaska.

That’s not all, folks!

She also has all of that experience IN TELEVISION THESE PAST EIGHT YEARS since the 2008 Presidential Elections, y’all!

If you don’t believe me, you have Google Fingers.

Now, here’s a warning. If you’re a Sarah Palin supporter and you think she’s a really classy lady, and you feel like telling me how women ought to be supporting women rather than tearing each other down, I’ll disagree with you on point A and agree with you on point B. My explanation on point B is because I disagree on point A. I’ve blogged in the distant past as to why. I won’t go into that now because I’ll use up all of the words I didn’t use yesterday when I blogged about Trump Fatigue.

 

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My youngest has taken to making declarations around the house. This past weekend she made a decision for the entire family, completely seriously:

Darling Girl: “We’re being British now.”

Mom: “Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know. I guess we’d better tell your sisters.”

Mom again: “Hey! Sweet Girl! We’re British now!”

Sweet Girl: “Mm hmm. Yes.” ::nods::

So that happened. I still have to inform The Mister and the other sister.

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ChristmasMusicOn a different note, why in the name of John Lennon jumping on a Saltine cracker is my “Awesome Christmas” (don’t judge me) station on Pandora not playing awesome Christmas music? It’s not like I haven’t spent time programming the hell out of it. But here it is. It’s not even playing Christmas music.

Here comes Frozen. Here comes The Little Mermaid (what?). Taylor Swift’s Blank Space. Wham! Holiday. I’m serious. At least it’s Christmas?

All of the Christmas channels are having the same bipolar concerns. I wonder if it has something to do with the seasons shifting and flipping sides of the country this year? Usually by now, Connecticut is buried under five feet of snow after three storms. New England is, instead, enjoying days of 50*-65*F weather even if it does dip into the freezing temps at night. It’s the first day of Winter.

It might be time to have another chat with Mother Nature in the interest of Global Warming, but my chronic pain issues aren’t really complaining about the lack of below freezing temperatures and lack of snow. There’s a ton of gratitude here.

So here I am, picky about Christmas music. It takes me a while to get to the point of being willing to listen to it, and I got to that point when I heard Pentatonix’s Mary Did You Know on the radio last week and it made me sob in the car on the way to work.

Yes, I admit I’m picky. I love hymns and softer music. I love the songs that are a bit slower, or are more gentle. I love the songs that touch the heart in a spiritual way, modern or old fashioned. Make no mistake… they’re all Christmas songs.

Two days of corrupted Christmas channels though, guys. I only have so many “thumbs down” per hour, you know, and I have to save them for the Christmas songs I simply can’t stand.

This also presents another dilemma:

What do you do when there’s a song that you love that comes on but it’s on the wrong channel? 

This is what I’m saying! Anxiety!

/Working Mom Problems

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coffeeFor a very, very, very long time coffee and Catholicism have gone hand in hand. You say Catholic, I say COFFEE! You say family mass, I say DOUGHNUTS! MUFFINS! It’s just how the coffee cake crumbles.

I remember sitting in Sunday morning mass as a child, as a teenager, as a 20-something in my hometown church on Family Sundays hardly able to make it through mass because of the tempting odor of coffee wafting up through the floors from the basement/gathering hall and into the pews. As an adult in my current church, I can’t say that it’s much changed (when my pain doesn’t keep me from attending) because it hasn’t.

Coffee and church: It’s like chocolate and coffee or, you know, mocha.

Coffee and church: It’s like cream and sugar… in coffee.

Coffee and church: It’s like sea salt and caramel or, you know, salted caramel chocolate chip cookies … with salted caramel coffee.

Maybe you can see why maybe just maybe some people are a little confused as to why coffee, Christmas, and Christianity are all tangled up together:

It’s because of Family Sundays aka Coffee and Doughnut Weekend. 

Let me just say, though, if you take away the coffee on Family Sundays, there will be a REAL controversy. I remember talking with the former pastor of my current church saying that weekends of Family Mass shows higher attendance. When they have better quality of coffee, attendance is even higher. He wasn’t joking. Not even a little. He felt very strongly that good coffee, frequently, brought families to church.

Don’t mess with Catholic coffee. We will cut you.

Pastor Emily C. Heath is awesome. I’m going to show you why. Christians and Coffee Cups: [CLICK HERE] |Pastor Heath shared some simple and beautiful truth regarding the non-troversy (by an individual who fancies himself to be an evangelist pastor).

Her blog entry could be relevant every year with each new created non-troversy towards the imaginary “War on Christmas.” A strong faith doesn’t worry about every new media-proclaimed outrage. At least, mine doesn’t. But my faith is a whole ‘nother series of posts, ha ha.

What I think I’ll do with the money I could spend on the Starbucks coffee (and for that matter, any money I’d spend on my beloved Dunkin Donuts… mmm Snickerdoodle) is keep some non-perishable food in the car and donate it to the next homeless person I see. I’ll donate more food to the local food bank with my children.

I do find it amusing that the Pagan Goddess in the dramatic forefront of the cups 100% of the time, including Christmas and Easter, doesn’t seem to bother the evangelical versions of my brothers and sisters in Jesus.😉

Apart from that, my parting thoughts on what Jesus might think:

Luke 6:20 NASB

a.k.a.

Dudes, if you choose to hate others, ostracize others, insult others, scorn others don’t you dare throw me under the bus when you do it and tell them it’s because I said so. Because dudes, woe to you. Woe. To. You.

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Happy April! What a gorgeous day today is. All of my girls are feeling well; it’s sunny and temperatures are supposed to reach 40*F; I’m finishing my first cup of coffee while wearing one of my favorite sweaters before getting ready for work.

I think it’s time to assess the things I’m grateful for, especially with Easter coming up this weekend.

Today, on April 1st 2015, I’m very grateful for:

  1. coffee
  2. very large coffee mugs
  3. like, coffee mugs that will fit three 12-oz servings of coffee to drink all at once and that’s like… oh sheesh, math… 36 oz in one mug!
  4. the fact that my family understands the importance of coffee in my life
  5. my husband
  6. my children
  7. seeing so much good in my daughters, with love reflected back to me and in everything they do
  8. my brothers
  9. all of my sisters-in-law
  10. all of my brothers-in-law
  11. my parents and my mother-in-law
  12. my very best friends, my chosen sisters
  13. the good health of my family and friends
  14. my job
  15. the fact that most days I can still function enough to go to work
  16. working toilets
  17. working heat
  18. blankets
  19. sweaters
  20. fluffy slippers
  21. my Kindle
  22. kitchen gadgets
  23. the fact that it hasn’t snowed in two whole days
  24. God answering my prayers in small ways that matter
  25. a working phone
  26. working clothes washer and dryer
  27. payday
  28. my invisible internet friends
  29. oh my gosh, my CATS of course
  30. and how did I not put chocolate on this list by now?
  31. and Girl Scout cookies?
  32. God, there’s something wrong with me today. I also forgot hot showers
  33. and paper towels
  34. and freshly washed warm bath towels
  35. being able to bake with my daughters
  36. family being appreciate (usually) of my cooking)
  37. a (kind of) working (kind of) reliable car
  38. getting X-Finity over frontier because frontier sucks donkey balls, let’s face it
  39. DVR
  40. oh my gosh, why isn’t my hairdresser further up this list? clearly great haircuts from my awesome stylist ought to be further up this list. Last but not least, saved the best for last, and all that, right?

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I happen to live in the state where the Newington school that’s being criticized for curbing the Halloween celebration within its campus is being criticized.  I can’t believe this nonsense has gone national.  A few parents got their panties in a twist claiming a violation of “rights” because their children couldn’t dress up profusely and have their costumes paraded around their schools.  Because the schools didn’t want to have an entire WEEK of scholastic disruption.

Because of a common sense policy:

  • The school and administration there are getting threats of violence from all over the country .  
  • People are sending hate mail from all over the country.  
  • People are upset that Newington is caving to overly political correctness shoved onto them by evil liberals.  Like the words political correctness and liberal are bad words or bad things to be.  
  • Administrators are being accused of caving to radical Islam (say what now???)
  • Administrators are being accused of assaulting Christianity and Tradition and generally Ruining Everything

 

Yeah, no. Just… shut up.  Shut up shut up shut up shuttity up up up.

I can’t even fathom why anyone would seriously and consciously violently threaten ANYONE for setting a reasonable rule for a school.  I have no argument in favor and every argument against.  Other than that, I can’t really formulate polite words.

An Aside: Why do people say Politically Correct as if it’s a bad thing? Adjusting our language and behavior in order to be sensitive to the cultures and traditions and feelings of others is a GOOD THING.  We become enraged and make threats of violence when others don’t do the same for us…

…but I suppose it only matters and is important if we feel it’s Christianity that’s being marginalized.  I love my faith, I love Jesus, I love my God, and I love my current Pope (yo! Shout out to Pope Frankie!) and I love most of my fellow human beings but a lot of the time I don’t like many of my fellow Christians.  The Bible gets twisted to mean terrible things, and while it’s corrupted, the Ten Commandments are ignored.  In place of goodness, kindness, tolerance, love, and generosity,  I read and hear about hate, selfishness, rage, and self-entitlement.

No, Christianity is not being assaulted.  As a whole when we include all denominations, we are the majority religion in the United States and we are a major world religion.  We are not in the minority in any way.  That is a statistical fact.  We are not marginalized in America.  We tend to be catered to.  We tend to be the religious group with the greatest power.   That’s not to say that in some areas of the world, Christians aren’t persecuted, executed for being Christian, hated simply for being Christian.  I know that right here in the U.S. there are plenty of people who hate Christians for breathing and painting us all with the same extremist evangelistic brush… much the same way people of all other persuasions make broad generalizations and hate simply to hate.  Some people just hate anyone who is not exactly the same as they are.  I know Christians who hate other Christians because they’re not the same denomination.  I know Christians who hate others within their own denomination for “not being Same Denomination enough.”

Haters gonna hate.

Aw, damn it Taylor Swift.  Brain, why you gotta be like that? Toss in Taylor Swift in the middle of a thought process.  Oi.

Ok, so Halloween is, literally, All Hallow’s Eve.  That means it’s the evening before All Soul’s Day (think Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows… the Deathly Souls) or as some like to call it, All Saint’s Day.  This next part is very important:

Halloween is not a holy day for Christians.  Tomorrow is.

 

Dear fellow Christians,

All Saints Day is “our day” and no one is taking it away.  We get to recognize both Halloween and All Saints Day aka All Soul’s Day anywhere we want all we want.  We can even go to church tonight (the vigil mass) or tomorrow to honor this holy day.  Cool, huh? Costumes and candy have nothing to do with it.  Church has everything to do with it.

Love,

Jessica

 

Interestingly enough, not all Christian denominations celebrate Halloween.  I think Jehovah’s Witnesses refrain from Halloween, as well as some Evangelicals and other similar denominations.  It’s because we are to abstain from all appearances of evil… even dressing up and making fun of evil and anything that could possibly be construed as an association with evil IE. Halloween, the candy, the parties, the costumes, the make-up, the parades.  It’s way more complicated than that for those denominations but Catholics aren’t like that.  We like Halloween and we like All Saints Day.  *Please note I’m not really speaking for all Catholics regarding Halloween, but All Saints Day is a Holy Day on the Catholic Calendar.

Of course there’s a lot as to why people dress up as ghosts, goblins, ghouls, scary witches, skeletons, devils, mass murderers, zombies, etc.  There’s a reason why it’s “spooky” with a paranormal feel, why it’s creepy.  Why owls at night give us shivers and some people still think Satan lives in my black cat, Luna.

It has to do with Samhain, an actual blessed day for Wicca, Pagan, and Celtic religions, that honors the Autumn harvest and coming of Winter as it sits halfway between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice and in fact, Samhain predates All Saints Day.  It’s a really spiritual time, when the doorway between our world and the spiritual world is thinned.  A time when anything could happen and people feel vulnerable.  Even if we don’t believe the same things as those religions, we still feel the cultural effects lingering from the days when our ancestors were afraid.

Dressing up as what scares you most lets you hide in plain sight from those very scary things.

We get to hide among the creeperss, letting ourselves believe that if the evil spirits came out on Halloween then they couldn’t distinguish between us and them and therefore we must be safe out in the dark while we put our complete and utter trust in our neighbors to not put poison into the candy they pass out.  It’s a societal show of trust that we allow strangers and neighbors to give our children candy while we let our children go door to door in costumes out of arm’s reach.

We get to do that regardless of  our religious affiliation or cultural background to beg for free candy from strangers and neighbors all we like as long (as the porch lights are on at the houses… leave the houses with the porch lights off alone).  Dressing up for Halloween and begging for candy; attending Halloween parties; sending your children to schools that allow it in costumes…. as long as we remember that it has nothing to do, really, with Christianity.

Honestly, as a parent in general but also as a parent specifically to two children that don’t react well to HFCS and food dyes, with one of them being lactose intolerant to boot, I really don’t want teachers sending my kids home at the Rage Stage of the sugar rushes.

If your school has a policy of “no costumes, no candy, no overtly obnoxious Halloween” then please remember that your rights aren’t being trampled. I’ve come to realize this is actually Mom Spent Way Too Much On A Costume And Wants To Make Sure Nevaehly Is Seen Dressed Up As Pryness Elsa By As Many People As Possible And That Includes School Damn It.  If that’s your issue then throw a damn Halloween party.  Halloween falls on a Friday this year so go to three Halloween parties.  Knock yourself out.  You can let your child sleep in the costume and go on errands in it.

Your child won’t care, and won’t remember because her rights aren’t being trampled either.  It’s not that big of a deal.  Your child will remember Trick or Treating with you in the neighborhood.  Your child will cherish those memories.  Your child will grow up and have fond memories when she sees the photos of  when she was a wee one with white faced cat make-up and pink cat ears while Daddy hugged her tight.  They will show their children how they had their pictures taken year after year in their costumes at the front door of your home, how they got taller every year as they and their costumes changed.  They’ll shed a tear when they see their first Cinderella costume in the memory box and you ask if it might fit their daughter that year.  They’ll remember attending parties with you, helping pass out candy to others, drinking cocoa together, sorting through the loot on the floor looking for open wrappers and candy that might cause allergic reactions.

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