Archive for the ‘COFFEE’ Category


That moment when, even though you feel guilty for multiple reasons, you do something that changes your entire life.

I turned in my resignation. I did it. I did it with a letter. This time, my boss didn’t try to convince me to stay after our long discussion. This time, she understood. 15 months ago, she convinced me to stay, “just until the annual meeting,” and I promised that I would. I guaranteed her those three months, and then, “we’d talk again.”

This time, when I turned in my resignation, she had already announced her own retirement.

I have five days left, including today, and I promised I would finish up my notes for my files. I hope that I can. I promised I’d stay an extra day or two if I couldn’t finish up by my last day. I’m a sucker. I really am. I don’t know why I didn’t just keep up with my notes as I went along.

Yes I do, that’s a lie. It’s because there’s been so much work piled up with my consumers and at some point, it was the paperwork that took the hit. Now I’m paying for it. It’s okay, I’m not taking new people on. I’m wrapping up and passing my people on to coworkers because that’s the way it goes here.

So today, there’s a Board Meeting. It’s a mostly-new board with a brand new Board Chairman and he’s pretty awesome. He’s got a lot of energy and brings a lot to the table. I forget how it came about, but at the annual meeting he ended up offering to buy me a cup of iced coffee as an apology for something, and I forgot today was the board meeting so he chastised me for not e-mailing him with my favored coffee flavor. I told him, then hedged, and told him that Friday is my last day because he offered to bring the coffee next week. He seemed genuinely bothered, so I explained about my health and current family concerns, but how much I love the agency and the people I work with. He asked if there was anything the board could do to keep me here and stated that if I change my mind after a period of time I’d be welcome back any time. I told him that meant a lot to me and I’d keep it in mind.

That was kind of awesome.

Now I only have to worry about getting my SSDI application completed, and waiting three months or so for them to respond with an approval. But I have to actually stop working first. I’m nervous. I’m really nervous. This whole thing is a huge life decision. It changes my life, my husband’s life, and that of my children. I realize that it also affects the work place that I’m leaving.

I have to be selfish this one time. I have to listen to my body and my family. I can even take this as a chance to talk to my daughters about how this choice still fits in with being a feminist.

It’s time to do this. The rest of my life is about to begin.

 

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Last week I had a neurology check up. I love this guy. He took it very seriously that I had a migraine that was on its ninth day, and showed no sign of alleviating. I’d been taking my daily med religiously; I’d been taking the Imitrex when it got out of control. I’d even been taking Advil on occasion in order to make it through work. I told him that I’d missed two days of work in spite of it all, and wasn’t sleeping even on the weekend.

He prescribed Prednisone, which he said would likely leave me feeling wired like after having way too much caffeine. He said not to take the Imitrex with it, because the efficacy of the Imitrex would be non-existent while on the steroid. I should feel better after the 2nd or 3rd day, taking 5 tablets the first 3 days in the morning; then 4 tabs; then 3; and so on.

I started the Prednisone on Wednesday of last week. I’m feeling “better” but the weather we’ve had hasn’t entirely helped. I’ve had restless sleep thanks to pain, which of course hasn’t helped. Over the weekend any rest I attempted was interrupted by the girls, the Mister, or Leo calling for his Mama. That dog likes to wake everyone up by 7:30 am. If I’m not downstairs by 8:30 am on a weekend he calls me specifically, with this whiny barking that gets urgent, so I end up having to go downstairs to let him hug me. Yup, he’s a hugger. I had to train him to be a polite gentleman dog and hug “properly” so that he wouldn’t knock me down. Goober.

I think that if I can get some long, uninterrupted sleep while on the Prednisone, it’ll work much better. The cats like to take care of me when I’m in bed, so they won’t be a problem. It’s the rest of the clan. 🙂

I went to work today, and I’ll be honest, I should have stayed in bed after the kids got on their rides to school. The Prednisone isn’t wiring me up, it’s making me sleepy. Neat trick.

What worries me at the moment is that if that damned Trumpcare bill passes? Migraines aren’t covered. I could be denied healthcare coverage simply for my migraines. Forget everything else I have to cope with. Migraines can keep me from any sort of healthcare insurance because the bill, if passed into legislation, will allow insurance companies to deny me coverage as a pre-existing condition. That means out of pocket if I see my neurology; if I have to go the emergency room for debilitating migraines that only the hospital can handle; for any of my migraine control medications. That’s thousands upon thousands of dollars a year. If they deem me suitable to cover at all, migraines alone could raise my premium thousands upon thousands of dollars a year.

Just the migraines.

I’m not talking about a little pain in the head. I’m not talking about a headache that some rest and avoiding sex for a night will take care of.

I’m talking about truly debilitating problems that are neurological in nature. Migraines are painful in the eyes, behind the eyes, in the top of the head, behind the head. They cause vision problems. There are sparkles, floaters, auras in front of the eyes. There’s tunnel vision. There’s blackout vision, where nothing is visible at all. There’s vertigo. There are auditory problems, sometimes a blocking of the ears and sometimes hypersensitivity. There can be auditory, visual, tactile, and olfactory hallucinations. Any combination of these symptoms can cause nausea, and vomiting. Fever can occur during migraines. Difficulty and slurring of speech can occur. Inability to walk and stand upright, or even to sit. Light sensitivity. Skin sensitivity.

There is a complete lack of function. It’s debilitating. Literally debilitating. The worst of a migraine is like having a seizure and stroke at the same time. It takes a lot out of you physically and emotionally. You want to scream, cry, beg, plead, but you can’t even think straight let alone speak. You’re forced to ride it out.

Luckily, most of the time mine have been under control by taking Topomax daily. I take the Imitrex for breakthrough migraines that need to be put under control when Advil doesn’t work. After a week, more than that, when that didn’t work, I finally needed to figure out what to do with my doctor. And if this doesn’t help, I don’t know what the next step is. But we’ll get there.

I’ll only get there if the current law, the AHCA, remains in place.

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When it comes to parenting, the books don’t always have the answers. Each book has a special parenting method, and if you just stick with that special method you’ll have amazing children. They’re grow up to be well behaved, respectful, intelligent, daily blessings of joy and love.

Those books are lies.

Most parents figure that out by the time their children are 1-to-2 years old. Sometimes it takes longer, but that’s likely due more to the temperament of the child and not the stellar parenting as followed from the advice in those books. They just might make it to 5 years old, but if that child really is just a totally chill little human being, it takes having a second child with a completely different temperament.

The books were worthless except as kindling until our third child. By then, I had realized that it’s not the book but the child, and every child has a different mother.

Every child has the mother they need because they’re all different people. The books should really only address the care, when it comes down to it. We need books that are honest and straightforward that will be Actually Helpful to new parents of babies, and stressed out parents of toddlers and teens.

Books parents need:

Mostly Judgement-Free Parenting Series

“How to Feed My Baby: Until he’s not hungry any more”

“How to Diaper My Baby: What’s best for your wallet, your tolerance for cutting coupons, your love of Pinterest, and ability to sew”

“The Best Ways to Get Baby to Nap: Learn baby’s sleep patterns, then work around it”

“How to Get Baby on My Schedule: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

“Toilet Training by One: Good luck with that one”

“How to Feed a Picky Eater: Give her what she likes”

“Discipline? Yes, always, your child is not your friend or best buddy”

“Discipline: You have more options than ‘spanking’ and here they are”

“Going Back to Work After Baby: Why not, after all Dad gets to and who’s to say that Dad shouldn’t be the stay at home parent anyway?”

“Staying Home/Going to Work After Baby: Budgeting, Care for Baby, Scheduling, Family Time, Let’s Work it Out!”

“How to Prepare for Going to the Hospital for Baby: includes a tear out sheet of “List of People to KEEP OUT OF L & D and Maternity” to give to hospital staff so that you won’t have to be the bad guy to family that you don’t want there!”

“Reasonable Expectations of Success and Mistakes: your child isn’t an extension of you”

“When Friends, Family, and Strangers Offer ‘Well Meaning’ Parenting Advice: Smile and Nod, and other non-violent methods”

“OMG My Teenagers Are Trying to Make Me Go Gray Overnight! and other things parents of three teens have been heard saying”

“Organic and Homemade! the story of the crunchy mom, whose baby ate only organic until he tasted his first Twinkie and realized there was an entire aisle of the supermarket his mom had been hiding from him, and other stories of perfect parenting gone awry”

“How Not to Say the Wrong Thing to My Teens and Make Them Cry, the story of the mom with three daughters, so really you have to know that there probably won’t be a happy ending to this story”

 

 

Yup… I’d have bought those.

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I don’t get paid to write this blog. I’m not good enough. So take me at my word when I say, as a very hyper-critical caramel-in-coffee-but-I-love-it coffee drinker that this is THEBEST salted caramel… nay, caramel creamer for your coffee. 

I say this, admittedly, as someone who already enjoys Natural Bliss. It’s the only one besides pure organic cream that I can drink in my coffee without contributing to pain issues and migraines.

I was skeptical about the flavor before buying because so many caramel creamers leave a weird aftertaste. No worries. I’m not buying any other caramel creamer brands now.
COFFEE-MATE Natural Bliss Salted Caramel Creamer 

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It’s too much, lately. Too complicated. There are too many terrible, vile things happening in the world to people by people. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I have so many thoughts and feelings about everything that’s going on that I’m having trouble sorting them out. Some of them are tied together, but are also separate issues and so I need to figure out how to simplify the way I need to write about the topics.

In the meantime, if there’s any topic that YOU would like me to discuss please let me know. I’d be happy to give it a shot. It would be something new for me. Otherwise my next post will most likely be something akin to generic store brand microwave pizza that tastes like cardboard.

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No, I’m not going to write about that miserable son of a bitch, Lucifer (in the flesh 👹, whom God has apparently forsaken if anyone were to have listened to early campaign claims 😇) having dropped out of the campaign for the Presidential nomination.

I’m not going to write about how I’m wondering what his political wife is doing right this instant, since she had hoped to be President herself and then dropped out of the race, and then suddenly she had the chance to be VP and now suddenly that was snatched away too. But I’ll bet there are flaring nostrils and wild, staring eyes involved. Red rimmed and glowing.  👿😲😤😠👾

Nope, I’m not going to write about that at all.

I’m not going to write about the apoplectic conniptions in the GOP 🐮 that I’m sure are running like The Wave through a full crowd at Fenway Park during an awesome game in a winning season, due to the come-to-Jesus realization that Donald Trump “appears to be” the presumptive nominee.

I’m not even going to write about how telling that particular little phrase is. Presumptive nominee. It makes me half think that Mitt Romney is going to jump out behind a curtain and shout, “SURPRISE!” with spirit fingers waving gleefully as a weird, creepy reality show mid-season finale cliffhanger that announces he’s the Party Nominee for the general election, with Paul Ryan’s oily ooziness peeking out warily, like Voldemort before he had his full powers.🎪

By the way, I tried to do a Face Swap with Voldemort and Paul Ryan and I swear on a stack of Harry Potter books, THERE WAS NO CHANGE!!! Either that or it didn’t work but I don’t accept that. Someone else try it, ok?🎭

Left: Bearded Paul Ryan; Center FACES MERGED WITHOUT CHANGE!; Right: Lord of All Evil, He Who Shall Not Be Na…Screw it, it’s Voldemort

 

And, um, apparently that Kasich joker 🃏 “suspended” his campaign to be the Presidential nominee just a bit ago.  But I’m not going to write about that either.

I guess there’s nothing to write about right now. 📰📝Sure was a boring day in politics.  🙃

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I need to start prioritizing better and keep my coffee pot in my bedroom so that I can have a mug ready at  5:dark o’kiss my ass. Because with my bedroom TV that I can’t rewind, there was already another Most Ridiculous News Story Diverting Attention From Important Headlines Today that I couldn’t confirm until I got downstairs to hear about it on the TV that tells me the truth.

This is almost politics only in the sense that it involves the two Republican front-runners, but it’s … well … I don’t really know what it is. Except that Donald Trump is making fun of Senator Cruz’s wife Heidi on Twitter, and has created a full on Twitter war (again) with Senator Cruz. The triggering event makes me roll my eyes so far into the back of my head it’s triggering a migraine.

Some group that I have no interest in researching put out an ad that showed Donald Trump’s wife, former model Melania Trump, lounging nude with a caption saying,

“Meet Melania Trump. Your next first lady. Or, you could support Ted Cruz on Tuesday.”

Not for nothing, but I can see why Trump wants to defend his wife’s honor, but dude… she was a model. She modeled nude. It happened. It wasn’t a secret. It’s not like it’s even on the same wavelength of denial or level of seriousness as having ties (I love that euphemism) to the Ku Klux Klan. And not for nothing else, but resorting to putting their wives side by side in an effort to embarrass Mrs. Cruz to show,  you know, how hot his wife is using a professionally done photo of his former-model wife and an admittedly unfortunate candid shot of Senator Cruz’s wife was beyond the pale.

I would say it was below the belt except that Heidi Cruz is an accomplished, apparently charming, intelligent, caring, loyal woman. Donald must have really scoured the internet for an unflattering photo of her. There really shouldn’t be any surprise at all that Donald would resort to school yard bully tactics and insulting a woman’s appearance in order to also insult her husband, his competitor.

Senator Cruz did offer an amazing loving-husband response on CNN the next day a.k.a. yesterday a.k.a. Wednesday:

 

“Heidi, my wife, she’s the daughter of missionaries in Africa, she’s my best friend in the world, and if Donald wants to get in a character fight, he’s better off sticking with me, ’cause Heidi is way out of his league,” Cruz said during an interview on CNN’s “New Day” with Chris Cuomo.

“It reveals a lot about character,” Cruz continued of Trump’s tweet Tuesday night that the Texas senator better “be careful” or “I will spill the beans on your wife!”

“It reveals a lot about class, that Donald’s instinct is to try to attack my wife and sully her,” Cruz continued. “That should be beneath Donald.”

Cruz speculated that Trump was taking a personal tact because “he had a very bad night last night” in Utah, where Cruz took around 70 percent of the vote, allowing him to claim all of the state’s 40 delegates. Trump, on the other hand, won Arizona, a winner-take-all state worth 58 delegates.

Trump fired off his tweet citing an ad from a super-PAC that showed an image of his own wife, Melania, posing nude during a magazine photoshoot. Cruz emphasized he has “nothing to do with” the outside group.”

 

What I’d like to know, Mr. Drumpf, is if this is really the most important thing that you need to worry about? A Senator who returns your school yard bullying with some sanctimonious fife about how righteous and pure his wife is?

And yes, Senator, you’re the stellar husband defending your wife’s honor and you’ve now earned the best sex of your life for the rest of your life, and maybe a man cave of your very own, but come on. This would be ridiculous on any given slow news day. Not that I wanted to even address this, but taking a nude photo or dozen, especially as a professional model, doesn’t attest to ones character. The French President Nikolas Sarkozy is married to a former model, Carla Bruni Sarkozy, who had a nude photo taken of her in 1993 that, in 2008, sold for U.S.$91,000. They met in November 2007 shortly after he divorced and they married only two months later. She’s not a French citizen, but Italian. So scandalous. And apparently, prior to her marriage, there were rumors to her dating Trump. I would be most concerned about her decision making skills as they relate to dating Trump, but in the end she did marry President Sarkozy.

What makes it exceptionally ridiculous and hard to stomach on top of all of the other disgusting things about this entire campaigns is that the day this *nontroversy erupted was the same day as the Belgium Terror Attacks. So honest to God, shame on you both. Shame on the news for giving you both air time.

While hearing about the attacks in Belgium and reading about the attack in Turkey does bring on emotional fatigue and anxiety, it’s still important to know what’s going on and how our current politicians and world leaders are handling things. It’s important to know how our candidates plan to handle things. We need to know how this will affect our lives presently and in the future. We need to know how to discuss these things with our children, especially when our daughters come crying because their Muslim friends tell them how fearful they and their families are for their lives due to how the Republican candidates and top politicians are responding. When our daughters are afraid that people in the streets will murder their friends, it’s a problem that we need to figure out and I don’t need all of this frivolous crap clogging up my TV or newsfeeds.

It’s now Thursday and in some strange alternate reality, this ridiculousness about whose wife is more attractive and whose wife has more character because whose wife took nude photos and whose didn’t is still a big enough deal to derail the Republican political …. chiznit. It’s still in the news. It’s still being called a story. No…. no. A “top story.”

It’s not even amusing. It’s not light-hearted in an effort to get us to smile in the midst of tragedy and chaos.

It’s ridiculousness and distraction, and it’s treating the voters with the presumption that they’re not smarter than a fifth grader.

If the Republican Party, with the help of the media that supports them, feels they need to lead undecided Republican voters, Trump Supporters, and others who are considering Trump over Cruz or “I’ll vote Trump if Hillary gets the nod over Bernie” by the nose to vote for Senator Cruz and make The Right Choice in the voting booth… then the situation is really more serious and sad than I thought. What happened to reason and common sense? Logic? Or, you know, at least insulting each other’s policies and platforms rather than each others wives and their wives appearances.

I’m really relieved that when my state votes in the primaries, it will be a closed primary and I get to vote Democrat.

*Nontroversy: An event or situation that is essentially when someone has made a mountain out of a molehill; the difference is when it’s been picked up by national and sometimes international media up to and including television news and it’s referred to as a “controversy” where people are experiencing contrived “outrage” and are now “speaking out” about said “controversy”

 

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