No, I’m not going to write about that miserable son of a bitch, Lucifer (in the flesh 👹, whom God has apparently forsaken if anyone were to have listened to early campaign claims 😇) having dropped out of the campaign for the Presidential nomination.
I’m not going to write about how I’m wondering what his political wife is doing right this instant, since she had hoped to be President herself and then dropped out of the race, and then suddenly she had the chance to be VP and now suddenly that was snatched away too. But I’ll bet there are flaring nostrils and wild, staring eyes involved. Red rimmed and glowing. 👿😲😤😠👾
Nope, I’m not going to write about that at all.
I’m not going to write about the apoplectic conniptions in the GOP 🐮 that I’m sure are running like The Wave through a full crowd at Fenway Park during an awesome game in a winning season, due to the come-to-Jesus realization that Donald Trump “appears to be” the presumptive nominee.
I’m not even going to write about how telling that particular little phrase is. Presumptive nominee. It makes me half think that Mitt Romney is going to jump out behind a curtain and shout, “SURPRISE!” with spirit fingers waving gleefully as a weird, creepy reality show mid-season finale cliffhanger that announces he’s the Party Nominee for the general election, with Paul Ryan’s oily ooziness peeking out warily, like Voldemort before he had his full powers.🎪
By the way, I tried to do a Face Swap with Voldemort and Paul Ryan and I swear on a stack of Harry Potter books, THERE WAS NO CHANGE!!! Either that or it didn’t work but I don’t accept that. Someone else try it, ok?🎭
And, um, apparently that Kasich joker 🃏 “suspended” his campaign to be the Presidential nominee just a bit ago. But I’m not going to write about that either.
I guess there’s nothing to write about right now. 📰📝Sure was a boring day in politics. 🙃