This morning… bright, sunny, and cold… I saw a white Winter rabbit. I’ve never seen her before. Usually I see brown or grey rabbits in my yard, as my yard tends to enjoy heavy rabbit traffic. We even have a rabbit hole or two.
This rabbit was special. She was so white she almost glowed against the drab dying grass as we near Winter on the calendar. She was round, pure white, full grown, nibbling at something, and although there’s plenty of noise on my street due to construction workers and equipment replacing a water main she seemed happy and calm. She wasn’t skittish even though I’m certain she was aware of her surroundings.
Seeing The White Rabbit felt like everything stopped for a moment. The background noise of the construction seemed to muffle. I felt more aware of the sun’s insistence on continuing to rise higher in the morning sky. My breath caught in my throat and my heart started to beat faster. I remembered a prayer I made, asking God to help alleviate my pain, help me control my anxiety and the creeping White Tiger of depression. I remembered asking God to help ease some of the fears and lift the heaviness of burdens… not to remove those burdens but simply to help me carry them without the oppressing weight and near-suffocation. I asked for him to send me a sign that he heard me.
I just know that The White Rabbit is God touching my morning. Maybe she could chase away the White Tiger.
You can skip this paragraph if you like because I’m about to take the long way ’round. Now, I’m really not superstitious. I believe in God, I believe in Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I’ve blogged through my spiritual journey and occasionally share my thoughts. I believe that the core faith is my path, politics be damned, and that it’s the best path, and yes the correct path or I wouldn’t have chosen it. As a default in being a more, mmm, progressive Catholic I tend to lean away from believing in things like totems, animism, polytheism, and the like. I don’t judge anyone who does believe those things; they’re just not my thing.
My point, after the long way ’round, is that I don’t believe this was a totem or spirit animal even with Native American and First Nation (indigenous/native Canadians) in my family tree. I suppose it’s possible, but not likely in my mind.
This is why my White Rabbit feels like God sent her to touch my morning as a sign that he heard my prayer. It felt ethereal, and very similar to past events in my life that felt as my own personal proof of God in my life. I can’t explain it if you haven’t experienced it although maybe in a future post I might. I have a few stories you might enjoy.
So I did some research online. I thought it might be fun just to see what white rabbits mean as signs in my Native heritage and in other cultures. I found something unexpected, but it feels like reinforcement that The White Rabbit, MY White Rabbit was meant specifically for me.
“If Rabbit has hopped into your life:
Reminds us to examine and utilize the tools we have within ourselves. Although our instincts are innate, they also need nurturing and development. Rabbit meanings deal primarily with abundance, comfort, and vulnerability. Traditionally, rabbits are associated with
fertility, sentiment, desire, and procreation.
It may also indicate a need for more planning or to check those plans already set in motion. Do not box yourself in a corner. Be aware that you may also need to examine the kinds of foods you eat. Perhaps a vegetarian diet, if only for a short time, can help you strengthen and heal.”
I connected with The White Rabbit for a reason.
I realize this sounds somewhat, mmm, fantastical and probably delusional and even superstitious. That’s ok. However this happened, even if it’s pure chance, it felt important and needed. That feeling, and the emotions associated during the brief encounter were validated for me. My prayer was validated. And I can’t imagine anything more important right now.
God is love.
P.S. This was my prayer:
I’m having a bit of a hard time lately. I need your help. My physical pain is higher than usual, and I think it’s my new normal. It’s increasing my anxiety and ability to cope with everyday tasks and burdens. Please send your Holy Spirit to ease the pain, and ease the burdens so that I might continue to carry them and follow through with tasks and participating in life events. Please help me so that I don’t let my loved ones down. If you read my blog, God, you know about my White Tiger. Please keep her at bay. She’s getting too close to me. Please, please let me know you’ve heard me. I don’t usually ask for a sign, You know that, but this time you also know that this control freak needs to know that she’ll get through it all.
Thank you. You’re awesome and I love you.