And so the stress of holiday shopping begins, and I haven’t even started yet. Hell, I haven’t even bought a birthday present for the kiddo whose birthday is coming up yet. I seriously can’t wait for our finances to feel stable again. I can’t wait for the time when we don’t have to watch and pinch every penny. Or when a small splurge doesn’t make me feel guilty and terrible.
I know that I have a lot to be grateful for. I really do. I mean hey… I have a job that can pay bills now. I even paid bills with it already.
The pain I’ve been in for the last few days is really catching up with me. The lack of sleep from the past few nights is also catching up with me. It’s making me grumpy and feeling off of my game. I can also feel my anxiety increasing with hyper-sensitivity in my skin, and a touch of depression is starting to kick in. I’m really just now recognizing the likelihood of a bout of the blues. What I wish I could tell my shrink and have her agree with me on is that the pain isn’t brought on by the depression, but that it’s the other way around. She should try living with chronic pain every day of her life in one form or another and see how cheerful she can be every single day.
Oops, that sounded almost bitter.
But seriously… when you can’t sleep because your shoulder and hips and back feel like they’re on fire daily and then for a few days in a row (or more) the pain flares up, try not feeling depressed or anxious.
When you reach the point in the day when you have to get your children off the bus and picked up from school, but you made the mistake of sitting down for too long and you’re not sure you can get up because of the fatigue in your eyes, the pain in your shoulder blades, the ache in your back and wrists… and the sharp feeling in your ankles as if you just sprained them… because you’re in the midst of a flare up, try not to feel depressed about it. Keep on smiling.
When you’ve had a chance to wind down for the day, and you STILL feel exhausted as if you just ran a ten mile marathon with the aching muscles and nerves and heaviness, and even cramping in your side with a sharpness that makes you gasp… don’t snap at people.
When you can’t remember anything short term and can’t do simple math without concentrating or you forget details or you have to read the same paragraph in the book you’re reading seven times to understand it… and you stutter and are grateful for the written word because it means you can take time to respond instead of having to speak immediately because of the fibro fog, no matter how much vegetable protein you managed to scarf down that day even though your appetite was poor… don’t let on to anyone.
When it hurts to hug, and you just feel like crying and hiding in bed, don’t burden anyone. They can’t do anything about it anyway.
- Objective Tests Prove Fibromyalgia is Not Depression (painfighter.wordpress.com)
- What is Fibro Fog? (lifeinthefibrolane.com)
- A Magic Pill? Not! (fibromodem.wordpress.com)
- Treatments for Fibromyalgia (doylene.wordpress.com)