I know most moms tend to get a bit misty-eyed when their children are sick. Most moms would take the germs and illnesses and disorders into themselves if only it meant their children wouldn’t have to suffer.
Oh, if only.
We had a snow storm blow through during the night dumping about three inches on us last night. My sweet Gracie is sensitive to barometric pressure changes as I am, so on top of her other “not feeling well” problems she had a headache. She slept fitfully last night, waking repeatedly to check to see if she was still in bed with me and to make fearful trips to the bathroom.
She was a trooper this morning driving her sisters to school. There was a snow delay so she could have stayed in bed longer but she was so uncomfortable she got up when she normally would have. We had to drop off the urine culture we collected last night before dropping Anna off at school, and Gracie could smell it before we even walked into the office. I couldn’t smell a thing, and neither could Anna but it was all she could smell. When we got back outside she just kept breathing in the snow-scented air as deeply as she could. She even preferred black burning diesel smoke from a passing tree cutter to the smell inside that lab.
When we came home she snuggled up with me and Daisy for a while, but kept wandering because she’s having trouble getting comfortable. She even ate some yogurt. She’s been napping on the couch for a while getting some much-needed rest, hopefully fighting off some germs. I’m praying that we’ll get the results of the cultures soon so that she can get her medicine and start to feel better.
I know how awful these things feel. I know how uncomfortable they are, how miserable they get. I feel horrible no matter while child gets them. It just seems more… I don’t know… pitiful? sad? heartbreaking? when it’s Gracie because I know it’s progressively worse for her than the other girls. She waits longer to say something. But she also feels the pain differently and more profoundly. It’s harder for her in so many ways because she has to work so hard to communicate how she’s feeling. She’s forced to communicate yet that’s the last thing she wants to do. She’s been nonverbal all day except to tell me her stomach hurt and then the screaming in the bathroom. She starts a sentence and then stops.
I know this will end. I do know this. Today feels like the longest day ever, yet it’s only 1:15 PM. We’re further along than we were yesterday and even last night. But it’s dragging on. I can only imagine how she feels, especially since her concept of time is so different.
UPDATED: Our pediatrician is great. She called to check on the little princess to see how she’s doing. They called the lab but the results weren’t ready yet, so the doctor agreed to do a broad spectrum antibiotic because of how much pain Gracie is in. I didn’t even ask her to do that. She just saw how miserable Gracie is during the appointment and knew that it’s getting worse. She even made sure that the Rx is in pill form since the girl won’t take liquid meds. She’s already had her first dose and gets her last one at bed time. We’re on the road to feeling better!
- Illness and Autism (littlefallofrain.wordpress.com)
- Gracie’s Rules Part II (littlefallofrain.wordpress.com)