This is an order on high from Her Majesty, Queen Jessica. Check your bread drawer/bin or wherever the frock it is you keep your potatoes more often than whenever you need potatoes. In fact, do it right now. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
From this point forward, you are to check your potatoes at least weekly and continue to keep them in a cool, dark place that is not your refrigerator. If you don’t, you can expect your potatoes to turn to a dark, semi-liquified semi-sludge putrification that will smell like death. Satan himself would do his best to escape from Hell to get away from the odor, so do yourself a favor and don’t let your potatoes get to stank.
And please don’t ask what provoked this post. I knew all of this already and still… oh, and still the rank of the stank.