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Archive for the ‘silliness’ Category


Photo from GabeZimmer.com

Tongue Tied

My eldest is watching some show about a boy band, and there was a song with a catchy tune.  Gracie was half-listening while watching her little sister play a video game.  All of a sudden she comes into the living room paying more attention to the song with a horrified look on her face.

“It would not be good to be tongue tied!”

“What are you talking about, honey?”

“Having your tongue tied would hurt! It would be BAD!”

I realized that she had a mental image of someone’s tongue being tied in knots or something similar.  Maybe it was tied like a bow on a shoe.  Still, I had trouble hiding the slight smile on my face because she had misinterpreted the phrase but mainly because I was imagining what I knew she was imagining.  Then suddenly we were both giggling.  After a few minutes she was puttering in the kitchen making a snack and I could hear her giggling.

When she came back into the living room I explained what being tongue tied meant according to the song.

“So honey, when someone says they’re ‘tongue tied’ it’s a saying.”

“Oh no.”

“Yes.  It means that they’re having trouble saying what they really want to say.  Like in the song the boy wanted to tell the girl that he really likes her a lot and maybe loves her but she makes him nervous so when the words come out of this mouth they come out jumbled and garbled.  Tongue tied.”

::eye roll::

When I showed her the photo I’m using for this entry she smirked.

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image

I really wish I could credit Sam Worthington with this one. Instead, I thank Target.

Posted from WordPress for Android

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Clash of the Titans (2010 film)… like, never dude.  I haven’t cried from pain in a while but today did me in.  Something felt like it wanted to rip a muscle right out of my neck.  It was downright scary.  It ended up easing up after several minutes.  I don’t even know how long it lasted.  Thank God my husband was here.  If it didn’t stop being as excruciatingly sharp and painful when it did I was going to beg to go to the ER.

When it did let up I couldn’t hold my head up.  I held up my arm and the pain went down as far as my elbow.  It felt like I had been lifting weights.  I’m still sore as if I pulled a muscle, and there’s a headache now that won’t go away.  I’m not sure if it’s from the neck … um … issue? or the weird almost-thunderstorm that passed by.

I do have to say that Sam Worthington is making my day much more bearable.  Clash of the Titans is on TNT.  Oh shush.  I love him.  He’s my boyfriend.   And if Perseus really existed he would rip that pain right out of me just like he ripped off the head of Medusa.  Okay, maybe he sliced it off.  And I know it wasn’t like a precision cut or anything but in any case he would make things better.  All that demigodliness.   I

Also, maybe it’s just that I feel like giving up today but I really want some crab Rangoon.  Delicious fried Chinese take-out goodness with that uber-unhealthy red sauce.  And some real bacon.  That’s what I want.  If I’m going to be in pain anyway then why can’t I eat like shit? Give up the vegetarianism and healthy food? Which brings me to something else.  After fasting I had my blood test.  I mentioned that before.  What I didn’t mention is that my cholesterol was STILL too high.  In the upper end of normal, but away from being in the danger zone by only 1 point.  My good cholesterols were too low.  My blood sugar was too high too.  I’m a tad frustrated.

Perseus would know what to do.  Plus he would go and get me some Chinese take-out, bacon from IHoP, and he’d also anticipate my desire for Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack ice cream.  He would buy me three containers of the B&J’s ice cream so that we could share one tonight, and then I’d still have some for later in the week.  He would also think ahead and put the kids to bed for me so that I wouldn’t have to share with them.  Because he’s a hero.  While I’m at it, he could talk to his father Zeus and see about making this shiznit Fibro go away.  Poof.

And then I would let him play on the PS2 with Manny.

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So sweet, this girl of mine.  Gracie was looking for songs on YouTube on my phone that she can dance to.  One song was completely annoying, but it got her going and she loved it so much that she starting hopping.  Pretty soon, she was flapping her hands in the air as fast as she could.

Here she was, bouncing and flapping to a song that I suddenly no longer found annoying, and I said,

“You sure look like you’re having fun! How flappy!”

While still bouncing and flapping, she smiled and said,

“It feels so weird! It is WEIRD!”

“Weird is awesome, huh?”

“It is WEIRD!” ::giggles::

And she kept on flapping.

I have to admit, I love seeing her hopping and bouncing and flapping.  Let me clarify.  Most of the time I love seeing her hopping and bouncing and flapping because it means she’s happy, excited, and really enjoying whatever is happening.  It often accompanies giggles and happy exclamations.  It’s usually pure joy.  I encourage it as much as possible.  Anything to see that smile in her entire face.

Of course sometimes the hopping and bouncing and flapping accompanies a meltdown and then it’s not so sweet or joyful.  There’s screeching, incomplete sentences in the form of shrieking, lashing out with fists and feet, and the term “whirling dervish” has been used.

At other times, she’s being impatient and it’s a sign of excited anticipation.  The key is that there’s always some excited energy involved.

In either case, don’t approach her.  The flappiness and bouncing and whirling must be self-contained.  You have to keep your distance out of her bubble or she feels claustrophobic.  That can escalate a happy into a meltdown.

As you can imagine, she loves jumping on mattresses.  :-)

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I meant to reblog this earlier in the week.  It’s a holiday safety post for families with special needs children that have Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder with tips on how to prepare for a more pleasant experience.

Prepare For July 4th ASD-Style | Ever So Gently.

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It Was Nothing


In case you were wondering, there weren’t any wild animals on my back porch.  This time.  It’s been very windy with big heavy gusts all day.  In fact, there was a news report earlier that about 12,000 people in Connecticut are out of power due to high winds.  Our back porch is closed in and the screen door that leads outside isn’t secured very well, so it bangs around sometimes.  If it’s opened enough, an animal could come in looking for shelter.  Birds sometimes come in through little holes in the screen.  It’s really okay.  I made my husband check.

Luckily the back doors are very secure so they can’t get into the house, but still.

There weren’t any streaks of blood either, so I’m fairly certain it wasn’t zombies either.

 

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From left to right: Apple, Kiwi, Lemon, Banana...

Apple, Kiwi, Lemon, Bananas, Annoying Orange, and Pear. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was driving with Anneliese (7 years old) and Gracie in the car after dropping the eldest girl off at middle school and were on the way back home to get them onto the bus.  Out of nowhere, Anneliese deadpans:

“Sometimes people are just too nice.  It’s so annoying.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nice people annoy me.  You know, when people are ‘tooooooo niiiiice?’ That’s annoying.  It makes me want to slap them and then walk away.” *~*

“Why would you say that?”

“Boys.  All the boys that like me are SO NICE TO ME it’s annoying.  They’re mean and rude and silly until they decide they’re in love with me and then they’re so nice it’s annoying.”

::after picking my jaw up from the floor in my head:: “Would you rather they pull your hair? ‘Oh hey, I like you so I’m going to punch you in the face and get your attention that way! Maybe you’ll punch me in the stomach and that’ll mean you like me too!’ Is that what you want? Or is this better… ‘Oh Anna, I love you so I’m going to stop trying to yank your skirt and give you chocolate instead! I won’t hurt you anymore, I’ll just try to make your butt fat! But that’s okay, I’ll love you whether you’re fat or skinny!”

She collapsed into giggles, and kept asking me to play both sides of the annoying-nice/loving-nice fence.  I foresee very bad teen and college dating years.  She’s going to go after the bad boys, isn’t she?

 

 

*~*DISCLAIMER: The Mister and I do not go around slapping people, each other, or our children.  We don’t go around saying people are “too nice” and emphasize that people should be nice to each other and discourage violence.  Just sayin’.  ;-)

 

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Oggi è un giorno triste. Le ragazze vogliono giocare sul Wii, mentre la musicaincessante videogioco mi spinge lentamente fuori dalla mia mente. Avrei preferitoavere tirato fuori le unghie piuttosto che avere i videogame in casa tutto il giorno.

Non aiuta il fatto che il maltempo sta facendo il mio corpo ferito. Sono scontroso per cominciare, anche se sto cercando di non darlo a vedere. Ho bisogno di una vacanza inuna bella, calda, soleggiata, isola privata dove ci sono uomini belli portando medeliziosi drink e snack tutto il giorno mentre ho letto libri sulla spiaggia.

Non ci sono telefoni cellulari. No televisione. Non ho figli. Stranieri solo giocandomusica soft, mi divertente e che mi rinfresco. Questo avrebbe dovuto durare un mese, naturalmente. Sarei anonima. Sarebbe stato tutto bello e sarei riuscita a dormire.

Idealmente vorrei essere pagato per questa vacanza.

Qualcuno ha i numeri vincenti della lotteria?

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I’ve often imagined being a rich, famous, and well respected author.  I would use less words per sentence, but more flowery speech.  I would say things like,

“Yes, dear, that was a lovely Cabernet.  I particularly enjoyed the bouquet of cherry and hint of chocolate undertones.”

and

“My darling, I’m not quite sure that I agree with your assessment of this week’s The Tudors but I still respect you nonetheless.  Perhaps my agent will be so kind as to set up a tea with the cast Sunday next and we can discuss each of our theories with them then.”

My list of book titles would be expansive.

  1. How To Write A Short Story and then not finish it
  2. Book Of Useless Poetry
  3. Things You Should Never Say To Your Children but probably say every day anyway
  4. How To Do It All Wrong And Still Have A Successful Marriage
  5. How To Have A Successful Relationship With Your Mom When She’s Your Facebook Friend
  6. When You Have One Baby Milestone Book And Three Kids
  7. When Even The Cats Are Girls
  8. Green Tea Tastes Like Grass but I love it anyway
  9. How To Cook Using Chocolate As Much As Possible
  10. How To Wing It And Not Let On
  11. When Your Cats Love You More Than Your Kids D0
  12. Self Taught Chef-ing On A Ridiculous Budget
  13. No, My Life Isn’t a Dramedy In Spite Of My Blog
  14. At Least My Life Isn’t a Soap Opera
  15. I Love My In-Laws; Am I Crazy?
  16. How To Gain Weight Even When You Eat Right
  17. How To Be A Horrible Housekeeper and still keep up appearances
  18. All The Reasons To Wake Up Every Morning although mainly it’s because you can’t sleep in
  19. Criss Cross Applesauce and other stupid phrases school taught my kids
  20. How Life Turned Me Into An Advocate
  21. What I Want To Be When I Grow Up… and other things I can put off  until tomorrow
  22. Why Birthdays Are Important To Celebrate For Everyone
  23. 1-2-3 Can Mommy Have a Time Out Now?
  24. How To Make Marriage Work Even When One Of You Snores
  25. Living With What Life Throws At You and maintaining faith while still standing

Hmmm.  I think I can turn several of those “book titles” into blog posts. Ding!

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Someone in the house has been dropping silent but deadlies.  I’ve been getting the same response I get when I ask who made a mess on the floor or who was sloppy in the bathroom:

“Twasn’t me, dear Mother.  No, not I.  I promise you, if it were I, I would tell you and own up to it.  I might be embarrassed, but I promise, I traipse to the loo to do my gassy business.”

But then Gracie started assigning blame.  Therein lies the mistake of the silent farter.

“NOT ME! I don’t know who it is! It was the cat!”

Of course I couldn’t outright catch her if the cats were right there and her gaseous bombs were silent.

Recently she’s taken to just outright insisting that she doesn’t fart at all.  In fact, it’s a rule.

“Everyone else farts.  I DON’T FLUFF! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!”

Erm… okay.

I caught her earlier, but she denied, denied, denied and the cat was right there.

“IT. WAS. NOT. ME! I DON’T KNOW WHO! I. DON’T. FLUFF!”

Then it was just us and I HEARD HER.  But I said nothing.  I tapped her shoulder and fake-gasped.  Shocked, she turned to me with big eyes and said:

“It wasn’t me!”

“What wasn’t you?”

“The fart!”

“What fart?”

“Uhhh… YOU LIAR!”

I learned a very valuable lesson today.  I’ll let you know when I figure out what it is.

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