Archive for the ‘silliness’ Category


microwave dangerWe packed up the baby factory years ago.  My youngest is 9 years old going on 40.  I’m turning 40 next month.  Well… 30 with ten years experience.  Seeing babies and pregnant women often makes me want to have more of my own.  I miss the newborn and infant stages… all of the littleness stages.The practicality of it is obvious, I suppose, but the emotions of it aren’t gone so I need a new rundown of why it’s probably good that we’re done having babies.

  1. I’m not a spring chicken
  2. We can come and go from the house without having to pack up lots and lots of gear
  3. The children are mostly self-sufficient and independent
  4. I wouldn’t have to deal with morning sickness that lasts 24/7
  5. We don’t have to think up cutesy ways of telling people that “we” are pregnant
  6. We don’t have to decide if we want to wait or find out the sex of a baby and then answer endless questions about it
  7. I won’t have to hear old wives tales about how I’m carrying, eating, looking
  8. No more diaper changing or spit up unless I’m babysitting for someone else
  9. I won’t have to answer personal questions about pregnancy or jokes about how I got that way
  10. We don’t need to see people’s facial expressions when they hear name considerations that they dislike
  11. We don’t need to worry about agreeing on a name together for a brand new human
  12. We won’t have to rearrange bedrooms for a crib
  13. We won’t have to tip-toe around nap times or worry about getting a baby used to a noisy house
  14. We won’t have to answer questions on what style of parenting we’re going to use
  15. I won’t have to take 6 weeks maternity leave from work and then get so emotional that I have to quit my job to stay home because I just can’t leave my baby
  16. I can look at other pregnant women and feel a little jealous or envious, but the feeling passes
  17. I don’t have to argue for or against natural birth or epidurals or c-sections or hospital birth or home birth or magic wands
  18. I don’t have to share my opinion on “push presents”
  19. I can hold other babies and spend time with toddlers, but I get to go home with my own daughters
  20. I get to keep being the cool auntie to new babies
  21. I don’t have to worry about SIDS unless a newborn is sleeping over my house
  22. I baby-talk at the cats
  23. Toilet training is over
  24. We no longer watch Blue’s Clues and Dora the Explorer on endless loops
  25. I can no longer remember all of the names of each Wiggle
  26. I don’t have to worry about whether I have to defend breastfeeding or bottle feeding
  27. I don’t have to worry about whether I have to defend cloth diapering or disposable diapering
  28. Regarding 17, 18, 26 and 27… I don’t mind my brain to mouth filter quite as much as I used to in my old-ish age
  29. I really need the coffee and pregnancy would hinder that, and more children would increase my need for it
  30. I have a chronic pain disorder and let’s face it, pregnancy would exacerbate my Fibromyalgia
  31. Babies are expensive
  32. We would need all new baby gear and clothes
  33. We really need a new dishwasher
  34. And a new heater
  35. And a new hot water boiler
  36. We could also use some new windows
  37. Maybe some curtains too
  38. I’d also love a new living room set
  39. We also need to get the girls some new bedroom furniture
  40. And I really enjoy being able to get my hair done every few months
  41. We also enjoy buying groceries
  42. And affording coffee
  43. My memory is not what it used to be, and a new baby could end up on the middle school bus while my middle schooler is happily sleeping in a crib
  44. I need far more sleep than a newborn would give me
  45. Or a toddler for that matter
  46. I recently had a dream that I was still in high school and left my baby in the gymnasium because the bell rang and it was lunch time but when I went back the baby was gone
  47. My daughters are perfectly happy with our family dynamic
  48. My husband is perfectly happy with our family dynamic
  49. I’m pretty sure the cats are somewhat, sort of, maybe happy with our family dynamic
  50. My daughters are old enough to do chores and a new baby isn’t
  51. I threw away all of my old maternity clothes
  52. It would be really difficult pushing a stroller and using my cane at the same time
  53. Kitty litter is bad for pregnant women and babies
  54. The microwave oven at my work place… just saying
  55. I have already achieved perfection in the three daughters that I have

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Today I am very grateful for:

 

  1. My daughters
  2. My husband
  3. My mom.  Totally my mom.
  4. My three dearest and best lifelong friends, who no matter how long it is in between talks or visits, it’s as if it was just a weekend ago; they’re the most forgiving, loving, generous people I’ve ever met
  5. The best office mate ever, who has become another one of my very best friends… and as important to me as my left leg :)
  6. My boss, who I also count as a dear friend and is one of the most inspiring and understanding people I’ve ever met, and I consider my life better for knowing her
  7. My sweet cats, who always know when I need a purry snuggle
  8. Great neighbors
  9. Box fans
  10. My daughters would want me to say “air conditioners” so: “Air Conditioners”
  11. Fresh mozzarella
  12. Avocados
  13. Iced coffee
  14. Iced tea (yes, they each have their own wonderful, separate, delicious qualities so they each deserve their own entry)
  15. Daily pain management
  16. Being able to order pretty, stylish plus sized tops and dresses on Amazon
  17. My Kindle… seriously, so many benefits I can’t even count
  18. Having a working car
  19. Having a cell phone
  20. Paper towels
  21. A working shower
  22. A working washer and dryer, especially since right now our dishwasher is dead, dead, dead
  23. A day off with my youngest girl even though I really, really need to be at work
  24. The fact that it’s beautiful and sunny today after the days of rain and terrible barometric pressure
  25. Did I say my Kindle?
  26. Common sense
  27. Kitty nail clippers
  28. Blue kitty kibble, especially since it’s helping Luna get healthier and healthier skin on her paws every day
  29. Having a good job
  30. Doctors that care about my health
  31. CHEESECAKE
  32. Volume control, especially the mute button, for the TV
  33. Chocolate
  34. Salted caramel, especially the salted caramel core from Ben & Jerry’s
  35. The camera in my phone and upload-ability to FB and when I remember, Instagram

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Photo from GabeZimmer.com

Tongue Tied

My eldest is watching some show about a boy band, and there was a song with a catchy tune.  Gracie was half-listening while watching her little sister play a video game.  All of a sudden she comes into the living room paying more attention to the song with a horrified look on her face.

“It would not be good to be tongue tied!”

“What are you talking about, honey?”

“Having your tongue tied would hurt! It would be BAD!”

I realized that she had a mental image of someone’s tongue being tied in knots or something similar.  Maybe it was tied like a bow on a shoe.  Still, I had trouble hiding the slight smile on my face because she had misinterpreted the phrase but mainly because I was imagining what I knew she was imagining.  Then suddenly we were both giggling.  After a few minutes she was puttering in the kitchen making a snack and I could hear her giggling.

When she came back into the living room I explained what being tongue tied meant according to the song.

“So honey, when someone says they’re ‘tongue tied’ it’s a saying.”

“Oh no.”

“Yes.  It means that they’re having trouble saying what they really want to say.  Like in the song the boy wanted to tell the girl that he really likes her a lot and maybe loves her but she makes him nervous so when the words come out of this mouth they come out jumbled and garbled.  Tongue tied.”

::eye roll::

When I showed her the photo I’m using for this entry she smirked.

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image

I really wish I could credit Sam Worthington with this one. Instead, I thank Target.

Posted from WordPress for Android

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Clash of the Titans (2010 film)… like, never dude.  I haven’t cried from pain in a while but today did me in.  Something felt like it wanted to rip a muscle right out of my neck.  It was downright scary.  It ended up easing up after several minutes.  I don’t even know how long it lasted.  Thank God my husband was here.  If it didn’t stop being as excruciatingly sharp and painful when it did I was going to beg to go to the ER.

When it did let up I couldn’t hold my head up.  I held up my arm and the pain went down as far as my elbow.  It felt like I had been lifting weights.  I’m still sore as if I pulled a muscle, and there’s a headache now that won’t go away.  I’m not sure if it’s from the neck … um … issue? or the weird almost-thunderstorm that passed by.

I do have to say that Sam Worthington is making my day much more bearable.  Clash of the Titans is on TNT.  Oh shush.  I love him.  He’s my boyfriend.   And if Perseus really existed he would rip that pain right out of me just like he ripped off the head of Medusa.  Okay, maybe he sliced it off.  And I know it wasn’t like a precision cut or anything but in any case he would make things better.  All that demigodliness.   I

Also, maybe it’s just that I feel like giving up today but I really want some crab Rangoon.  Delicious fried Chinese take-out goodness with that uber-unhealthy red sauce.  And some real bacon.  That’s what I want.  If I’m going to be in pain anyway then why can’t I eat like shit? Give up the vegetarianism and healthy food? Which brings me to something else.  After fasting I had my blood test.  I mentioned that before.  What I didn’t mention is that my cholesterol was STILL too high.  In the upper end of normal, but away from being in the danger zone by only 1 point.  My good cholesterols were too low.  My blood sugar was too high too.  I’m a tad frustrated.

Perseus would know what to do.  Plus he would go and get me some Chinese take-out, bacon from IHoP, and he’d also anticipate my desire for Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack ice cream.  He would buy me three containers of the B&J’s ice cream so that we could share one tonight, and then I’d still have some for later in the week.  He would also think ahead and put the kids to bed for me so that I wouldn’t have to share with them.  Because he’s a hero.  While I’m at it, he could talk to his father Zeus and see about making this shiznit Fibro go away.  Poof.

And then I would let him play on the PS2 with Manny.

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So sweet, this girl of mine.  Gracie was looking for songs on YouTube on my phone that she can dance to.  One song was completely annoying, but it got her going and she loved it so much that she starting hopping.  Pretty soon, she was flapping her hands in the air as fast as she could.

Here she was, bouncing and flapping to a song that I suddenly no longer found annoying, and I said,

“You sure look like you’re having fun! How flappy!”

While still bouncing and flapping, she smiled and said,

“It feels so weird! It is WEIRD!”

“Weird is awesome, huh?”

“It is WEIRD!” ::giggles::

And she kept on flapping.

I have to admit, I love seeing her hopping and bouncing and flapping.  Let me clarify.  Most of the time I love seeing her hopping and bouncing and flapping because it means she’s happy, excited, and really enjoying whatever is happening.  It often accompanies giggles and happy exclamations.  It’s usually pure joy.  I encourage it as much as possible.  Anything to see that smile in her entire face.

Of course sometimes the hopping and bouncing and flapping accompanies a meltdown and then it’s not so sweet or joyful.  There’s screeching, incomplete sentences in the form of shrieking, lashing out with fists and feet, and the term “whirling dervish” has been used.

At other times, she’s being impatient and it’s a sign of excited anticipation.  The key is that there’s always some excited energy involved.

In either case, don’t approach her.  The flappiness and bouncing and whirling must be self-contained.  You have to keep your distance out of her bubble or she feels claustrophobic.  That can escalate a happy into a meltdown.

As you can imagine, she loves jumping on mattresses.  :-)

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I meant to reblog this earlier in the week.  It’s a holiday safety post for families with special needs children that have Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder with tips on how to prepare for a more pleasant experience.

Prepare For July 4th ASD-Style | Ever So Gently.

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